Devin's Boys

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Near misses and almost moments

 

“Get outta the street ya fuckin’ moron!”

 

The bleat of a truck horn accompanied the words. A rush of air accompanied both, as the truck roared past. A foot to the left and the shaking would stop. Was death a cold or warm thing? Blinking back tears, Moon sought the next oncoming vehicle, only to be spun around and tossed, kicking, over a broad, well-muscled shoulder.

 

“Are you really that fuckin’ selfish?”

 

As loud as the horn, the words washed over him as he was carried out of the street and dumped on the grassy lawn of City Park. So much for being lush, that shit hurt. Rubbing his hip, Moon stared through a watery gaze at the face swimming around over his head, blotting out bits of a fading sunset.

 

“First you shatter your guitar, now, what, you run out here looking for a truck to shatter you? Then what, huh? You live, maybe, or you die and leave the rest of us mourning and wondering what the hell was so bad in your life that you decided to waste all your gods-given talent. Dead is dead, Moon, you can’t take that back!”

 

“You think I don’t know that?”

 

“I’m beginning to wonder!”

 

Swiping at his eyes, Moon tried to scrub the tears away with the back of his hand, but they wouldn’t stop falling. Pressing with the heels of his palms didn’t stop them either, and the strong arms that engulfed him just made them fall harder. It felt like Derrick was trying to squeeze all his broken pieces back together again. Too bad they’d never found the glue to keep them that way.

 

“Why go up there tonight?” Derrick whispered. “Why keep putting yourself through that when you balk the moment it comes time to perform?”

 

Sniffling, Moon pressed his face to Derrick’s shoulder and shivered against the cool wind seeping through his t-shirt. “What’s the point in playing music no one can hear?”

 

“What’s the point in torturing yourself like this, pushing yourself to the breaking point and beyond with nothing to show for it in the end but frayed and frazzled nerves?”

 

“No need to worry about that anymore, now is there?” Moon muttered, the feel of his guitar coming apart beneath his fingers one he was certain not to forget anytime soon.

 

“I can’t believe you wrecked your guitar.”

 

“Can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner.”

 

“Moon…”

 

“Wouldn’t have kept embarrassing myself and Mikal if I had.”

 

He felt Derrick sigh, glad he was giving up his argument. It all sounded well and good until you factored in the impulses Moon could never quite control. In his head it looked so gorgeous, so grandiose and fun, he and Mikal on stage, people dancing, waving lighters, singing along. An ocean of happiness, community, coming together through music like the festival stories his gran filled his head with.

 

Reality was such a cold contrast to the hype of his imagination. It was a good thing he was leaving the music behind him and the delusions of grandeur that came along with it. Might be time to make other changes too, leave the glitter and nail polish in the past, dye his hair a normal color, learn to dress like the rest of the town, and maybe, finally, earn their acceptance.

 

Mr. Green would be happy to give him more hours at the grocery store. He was forever looking for people to fill in on evening shifts. If he wasn’t dicking around every night with his guitar, writing songs he was too scared to play, he’d have more time to devote to work, maybe even make enough money to leave this tiny town and head down to Portland, get lost in the shuffle of the city, thousands of bodies, faces he didn’t know. Strangers with no reason to wreck everything he’d ever dreamed of.  

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He found himself bundled into an oversized jean jacket that smelled of the ocean, Axe body spray, and peppermint patties, the only candy he’d ever seen Derrick buy when he came in to shop.

 

“Come on, you’re gonna catch a chill sitting here.”

 

“I’m not going back in there.”

 

“Did I say anything about you going back to the bar?”

 

“No.”

 

“Alright then. We gotta go to the parking lot though. My truck’s over there.”

 

“Hate your truck.”

 

“No you don’t, you hate that you’re too short to get in it on your own.”

 

Huffing, Moon tried to blow a lock of hair off his nose only to have it fall over his eye instead. Go figure. “Same difference.”

 

“I promise to be gentler when I boost you up this time. Wouldn’t do to save you from getting smeared all over the road only to smack your head off the steering wheel and give you another concussion.”

 

“Least you didn’t break my nose.”

 

“Hey, I apologized for that too. Who knew you were so light?”

 

“You couldn’t take one look at me and tell?” Moon squeaked as Derrick ‘helped’ him up by nearly yanking his arm out of the socket. “Oh my god, you’re a menace, you know that?”

 

“So you keep telling me,” Derrick muttered, but he was gentler when boosting him up into the cab of the truck, and the heat pouring from the vents was welcome after sitting on the late spring ground. “Where to?”

 

The disappointed look on his uncle’s face burned bright in his mind, and he knew exactly where Linus would pop up once the bar was closed. “Not home.”

 

“Well, that eliminates one place and leaves a wealth of possibilities,” Derrick remarked as he put the truck in gear.

As the bar disappeared from the rearview mirror, he was painfully aware that he was abandoning his best friend. Again. Maybe it was time to make it permanent. Mikal didn’t deserve to be disappointed time and time again. He was tired of getting his best friend tangled up in his disasters. All the way back to second grade when the mayor’s daughter had dumped glue on his head, splattering Mikal in the process, he’d been dragged into Moon’s messes. He owed Mikal more than he could ever repay. Maybe taking this one small step would show him that Moon did indeed know how much Mikal had lost out on by being his friend, and how sorry he was that he’d been too selfish to do this before now.

 

As they bounced along the pothole-filled road, Moon was grateful that Derrick had left the radio off, letting the hiss of the heater vent be the only sound between them. “Got anything to smoke?”

 

“Always.”

 

“Then that’s where we should go.”

 

“I’ll smoke you up on two conditions.”

 

“Can’t you just smoke me up ‘cause I’ve had a shit night?”

 

“That would be too easy.”

 

Sighing heavily, Moon cast a sidelong glance at him. “Could use easy tonight.”

 

“Well, I can promise that I’ll be as easy as you want me to be.”

 

Groaning. Moon buried his face in his hands. If there was one thing he could count on from Derrick, besides his never-ending supply of weed, it was his willingness to help Moon fuck away whatever he happened to be feeling.

 

Forcing a smile, Moon slid his hand up Derrick’s thigh. “Guess it’s not just tequila that makes the clothes fall off.”

 

“You know it.”