...And All Shall Fade To Black (Freebie Friday Story, new content added once a week)
“If you don’t shut the fuck up and leave him alone, I’ll kill you.”
Scrambling backwards, Danny moved from between the much larger men, not that he had very much room to move, but at least in the hallway he wouldn’t be an accidental target if they came to blows.
“What’s it to you what I do to him?” Sean grumbled as he stepped right into their new neighbors face.
Danny hoped Jax would back off. He didn’t know the tall brunette, outside of an introduction, Jax having just moved into the building three days before, and while he looked jacked, Danny had no way of knowing how he’d handle himself in a fight. Especially against someone like Sean who loved fighting.
“You woke me up with all your yelling, for starters, but since I’m out here and your attitude sucks, I figure I might as well fuck up your night the same way you’ve fucked up mine,” Jax stated as he held his ground.
Sean went to shove him, but Jax moved out of the way and gave Sean a shove of his own, sending him staggering out the doorway. Danny scrambled further back, desperate for a dark corner to get lost in as Sean’s wild eyes scanned around, looking for him. When they landed on him, Danny froze.
“Call the cops,” Sean snarled. “I’m going to have this fucker arrested for assault!”
“C-call them y-yourself,” Danny stammered, then fell back with a strangled squawk when Sean lunged for him. Jax had caught hold of the back of his shirt and hauled him backwards, away from Danny, who stared up at Jax’s pierced face, shocked at the man’s strength. Sean kicked back and managed to drop Jax to one knee, freeing himself to go after Danny again.
“Son of a bitch!” Jax roared as Sean lunched for Danny and wrapped his hands around Danny’s throat. In the scuffled that ensued, the only thing that Danny could see was Sean’s pinprick eyes and the spittle flying from his lips as he cussed and threatened. Just as everything faded to black, Danny though he saw a snarling demon rise up behind Sean, the rage twisted features scaring him so badly he was grateful when everything faded away.
Jax grunted and kicked the larger man in the side, pissed as all getup and wishing he could hit him a second time. Truth be told he hadn’t expected to knock him out with one shot, but his blackjack had come in handy and maybe he’d put more force into it then he’d thought. A quick check revealed that the guy was still breathing. Too bad really, ‘cause outside of the manslaughter charge it might have been worth it to have one less asshole in the world.
He glanced over at the smaller man slumped in the corner and wrinkled his nose in disgust. He couldn’t imagine cowering from anyone, let alone someone who seemed hell bent on kicking his ass. At the very least, he’d have stood on his own two feet and slugged it out even in a battle he’d known he couldn’t win, but this guy…
Jax just shook his head. There were bruises already beginning to form around his neck, his eye was swollen, his lip was puffy, as was his cheek, and Jax was pretty sure the guys nose was broken, the way it seemed bent a little to the left and was still dripping blood. His t-shirt was soaked with it, at least from what Jax could see, but his hands, Jax snorted, there wasn’t a mark on this guy’s hands at all. He hadn’t even tried to defend himself.
Fucking pathetic.
He leaned back against the railing and rubbed his aching shin where the big asshole had kicked him. That was gonna leave a mark, a fact that left him itching to kick the guy again. The only thing that held him in check was the heavy pounding of footsteps up the steps and the sound of a radio crackling. Great, he knew the drill, put his hands on the top of his head, shut his mouth, hold still and wait for them to get to him.
“Are you armed?” One of the officers asked as his partner knelt to check on the unconscious forms of the two men who’d completely fucked up his night.
“Yes, officer,” he replied, not daring to twitch in the slightest.
Vicelike hands gripped his wrists, squeezing tight as cuffs were put on and he was yanked to his feet and shoved face first against the wall. The officer frisked him thoroughly, finding the blackjack he’s shoved back in his pocket and the knife in its sheath on his belt.
He could hear them call for an ambulance, and the muffled voices of people down below; great, some way to acquaint himself with his new neighbors. He was spun around and told not to move, a fact he was more than happy to comply with if it would get him to the part where he got to explain his side quickly, and then return to bed.
“Sir, please sit still, an ambulance is on its way.”
“Wh-what happened?” Danny asked groggily shaking his head.
“That is what we’d like to determine,” the officer explained.
Jax glared down at the small man he’d rescued, kicking himself for about the tenth time for even bothering to get involved.
For a moment, Danny just looked around as the events of the evening swirled through his mind. At the forefront, the hate filled way his boyfriend of nine months had greeted him, and the rage that their new neighbor had been forced to rescue him from.
“H-he saved me,” Danny said as he pointed across the hallway at Jax.
Both sets of officers turned to look his way. Jax just smirked, wishing he could wave. It was kinda funny really, considering the fact that Jax Wilson usually didn’t give enough of a shit to save anyone.
[Break, end of first post]
Jax tossed and turned on the lumpy mattress that was currently serving as his bed. It wasn’t the worse thing he’d ever slept on, but it was a far cry from the best. With a groan, he rolled onto his back and draped an arm over his eyes, shielding them from the early morning sun. The last thing he was looking forward to this morning was getting up and going to work, but since he didn’t have the luxury of skipping out, he was left no choice but to roll to his feet and head to the bathroom.
As he stood under the warm spray from the shower, some of the anger from the night before began to creep back in. Without a doubt, that had to be one of the stupidest things he’d ever done. In fact, if he were to rank a lifetime of insanity and bad decisions, that one was floating somewhere between number two and number five in a very long list.
It wasn’t like it was going to make a difference, the small guy, what the fuck had he said his name was, Denny, Danny, whatever, he’d prolly bailed the asshole out and was up making him breakfast and laying his shit out for work. Dumbass.
He sighed and brushed the water out of his eyes. His sister would tell him that he was being a cynic, that not everyone was like their mom had been. Fuck that noise, his sister saw rainbows and sunshine in everything. Even when people pissed her off she just smiled and somehow or another managed to win him over. That wasn’t him, that had never been him and never would be. People only showed you good when they wanted something, or when they wanted you to like them, as soon as they’d suckered you in, who they really were tended to emerge and he’d learned early on that it was safer to play with pit bulls then people. At least a dog wasn’t gonna bite you unless you provoked them to.
People on the other hand…
Turning the water off, he shook his head, sending water droplets everywhere before grabbing a towel and quickly toweling off. He’d barely pulled on his jeans when someone began knocking on his door. For a moment, he considered ignoring it, but the knocking grew more insistent and with a groan he resigned himself to the fact that whoever it was just wasn’t going to go away.
Muttering curses he stalked to the door and yanked it open, only to see the top of Denny-Danny’s head. The smaller man looked up at him with a sheepish grin, the bruises on his face and neck looking much worse in the light.
“Hi, umm,” Danny stammered, as Jax crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe, wondering how long this was going to take.
“I umm, I just wanted to, ummm,” Danny continued, looking around awkwardly. “You didn’t ummm, have to help last night, and umm, I just want to ummm, thank you.”
“Is that all?” Jax asked abruptly, pushing away from the doorway. “Don’t expect it to happen again.”
Danny took a step back, eyes widening in shock at Jax’s harsh tone. “I-I don’t, I mean, I-I won’t.”
“Good. And do me a favor, try and keep it down the next time you guys decide to fight. No one else needs to hear that shit.”
Jax reached for the door, intent on shutting it, when Danny stuck his hand and slammed it against the door, stopping him. He wasn’t sure what possessed him to do that, except fury and indignation. He hadn’t asked for help last night, but he had been grateful for it. Now he wondered why his savior had even bothered at all, if he seemed so annoyed by the whole thing. Or maybe it was disgusted. Maybe he’d come over thinking it was a domestic between a man and a woman and felt obligated to help since he was there.
“Look,” Danny said, forcing himself to look up into Jax’s eyes. Blue, they were bright, captivating, a prismatic shade of aquamarine, darkened only by his apparent anger. “I didn’t mean to disturb your night. I didn’t ask for him to go off on me like that, he was higher than I’ve ever seen him and to be honest, I’m still not sure exactly what set him off.”
“But you bailed him out anyway, right?” Jax shot back, scowling. “Apologized for everything, made him breakfast and even promised to make him a nice dinner tonight when he came home from work, right?”
Danny’s eyes narrowed and his fingers curled into a fist against the door. “Actually. I left his ass at the precinct, called a moving van to get his shit out of here, rented a storage unit for them to put it in, and planned to invite you over for dinner to thank you, but you can pretty much forget that part of the plan. I don’t invite people into my life who are going to treat me like shit, and I sure as hell aren’t the type to actually forgive them and bail them out after they do. I don’t know what kind of people you’ve been around, but, not everyone likes to play the part of a human punching bag. Anyway, for what it’s worth, thank you, for coming to my rescue, trust me when I say there will never be a need for it to happen again.”
And with that Danny turned and stalked back to his door, disappearing inside with a slam that jolted Jax out of the stupor he’d fallen into as soon as the small man had started going off on him. Too bad he hadn’t used some of that last night, instead of cowering in a corner. Jax shook his head, confused at how the whole conversation had gone down.
With a shake of his head he closed the door. One thing was for certain, living here wasn’t going to be boring.
[break, end of section 2]
Of all the nerve!
Danny paced his apartment, angrier than he’d been the day the city had closed down the beloved old theater he and his drama troop had been trying so desperately to save. He’d lost his home away from home that day, and it had taken a long time to find another place where he and his unique style of playwriting could fit in.
His hands were shaking as he stalked through his apartment, yanking closet doors open in search of boxes, bags suitcases, anything he could pack Sean’s stuff in. In his haste, he banged his little toe on an end table and grabbed his foot, hopping around and cursing for several minutes before the cats tripped him up and he landed on the couch with an oomph. Chorus hopped into his lap, while Lyric purred loudly as she wound her way around his ankles. A loud meow to the left drew his attention to Inferno, who studied him with disinterested eyes as he sat down to clean his whiskers.
“Thanks a lot, fuzzies,” he grumbled as he rubbed his toe, then reached to scratch all of their ears, loving the rumbling, happy sounds they gave him in return. He stood after setting Chorus on the fllor, and resumed his search for things to package Sean’s stuff in. A short time later he was in the bedroom, emptying Sean’s dresser into a couple backpacks he’d found. There was no way he’d get out of jail tody or tomorrow, in fact, it would likely take days before he could get ahold of his uncle or his mom, who both lived out of state and were pretty much the only family he still talked to. By then, Danny would have had time to get the locks changed too.
Thank God the apartment was only in his name, along with the phone, cable and utilities too. It had been his place for almost four months before Sean had asked if he could move in with him. Kinda rushed, really, but Sean had been in a bind and Danny had been head over heels for the guy, which, looking back, should have been his biggest clue to slow it down. Too bad he always seemed to jump head first into things that didn’t always turn out to be good for him.
Contrary to what he’d practically yelled at Jax, he did have a bad habit of letting people into his life that either took advantage of him or shit all over him and he was sick of it. It was starting to feel like a great cosmic joke at his expense, how he got severed a taste of happiness only to watch it crumble to shit.
Now that he thought about it, maybe that should be the title of his next play, Cosmic Joke. At least then he’d only have to go as far as the nearest mirror for inspiration. Jax’s deep blue eyes could have been inspiring and he sure had that whole tough as nails things down pat, he might have made an interesting character, if he wasn’t such a jerk. Then again, that in and of itself might make an interesting character. He could be the antagonist in some crazy satire of a messed up life.
A quick glance at the top of the dresser and he saw he’d forgotten to pack up Sean’s toiletries, so it was back to the kitchen to grab some canvas bags. They were easily replaced and way sturdier than plastic bags from the grocery store. The last thing he wanted was Sean trying to sue him over breaking his shit.
With a sigh he grabbed the morning paper to wrap them in and headed back to the bedroom. This wasn’t the way he’d expected the relationship to end, in fact, after the first four months he’d been convinced that he’d broken the streak of bad luck he’d been on in regards to dating losers, then he’d started noticing things. Like Sean’s bloodshot eyes and decreased appetite, or the way he woke up restless in the middle of the night, or got all twitchy sometimes before going out for a walk.
Danny wasn’t naïve, not by a long shot, but when he’d questioned Sean and been told that it was just issues with work and he had a lot on his mind, Danny had been so eager to believe him he’d ignored the truth. Sean was using, and so far, Danny had found several instances of proof in the form of small baggies.
One contained powder, one contained what he was certain was weed, while several others had contained a variety of pills. All of them he’d shoved in the backpack with Sean’s things, not wanting to have anything to do with them.
Loud, insistent banging made him jump and crumple the shirt he’d been folding. Sean’s keys were sill on the coffee table, Danny’s heart hammered wildly as he tried to figure out what to say. No, he was not letting him in here, no, they could not talk. Resolved to stick to those two basic decisions, he stalked to the door and peered through the peephole, shocked to see that it wasn’t Sean on the other side, but a fully dressed Jax.
Scowling, and completely thrown off guard, Danny unlocked the door and pulled it open a crack.
“Was there something else you forgot to snarl about?” Danny asked, trying to keep his voice level and not let the big man see how much he rattled him.
“Guess I deserved that,” Jax said, his face actually flushing a little as he shifted from one foot to the next.
“Yeah, you did,” Danny said. “So…what do you want?”
“To apologize for being a dick. I shouldn’t have heaped my shit on you. I’m sorry,” and without another word, Jax turned and headed towards the steps, the sound of his boots echoing loudly.
“Hey!” Danny called out, opening the door all the way and heading out into the hall behind him. Grateful when Jax stopped and turned around. “Thanks for the, ummm apology and all. I get it, sorta, we all have baggage. Look, umm, if you’re not doing anything tonight, I’d still like to cook you dinner. A kind of thank you and welcome to the building.”
Jax fixed him with a wary look. “Yeah?”
“Absolutely. What time do you get off work?”
“Around ten, I think, to be honest, I’m not completely sure. It’s my first day.”
“Well, then that’s something else to celebrate then. Does ummm eleven sound good? I umm, know its kinda late but you gotta eat, right. .”
“Yeah, sure, not big on fast food so I was just gonna come home and cook something, so eleven sounds great, thanks, I’ll see you then.”
“Yeah, umm, I’ll see you then,” Danny said with a small wave before Jax turned and bounded down the stairs. A small smile crossed Danny’s face as he closed the door to the apartment, remembering to lock it back again.
Well, that was unexpected.
[Break, end part 3]
“So, what do you think of the place?”
Jax looked from his sister, to the clean, well lit shop. The walls were covered in tattoo designs, awards, and photographs of customers tattoos. She was an amazing artist, his sister, and she’d brought him in to do piercings, something he’d been certified in for years.
“Love it sis, holy shit, you’ve put a lot of work into it.”
She laughed and swatted him on the arm. “You think! This has been the only thing I’ve thought about for the last two years.”
“Yeah, I noticed when your letters went from weekly, to monthly, to every now and again. Figured if I didn’t take you up on your offer, It might be Feezle Day before I heard from you again.”
“I wasn’t that bad,” she scoffed as she led him to the cabinets and began showing him where the supplies were kept.
“Yeah, you kinda were, but I forgive you. Honestly, this place rocks. You did an amazing job, sis.”
She stood up, smiling brightly and wrapping him in a tight hug. “Thanks. When Karl died, I really wasn’t sure what I was going to do with myself. I mean we didn’t have any kids, or pets, all we had was the dream of opening the shop and working side by side creating sick ass tattoos. It sucks that I’m here each day without him, but I know he’d be proud that I was able to get it off the ground.”
“He was a good guy, sis, a good friend. I miss him too. At times he was like the big brother I never had.”
“He thought of you as a brother too,” she said, her eyes misting up a bit.
He hugged her again, resting his chin against the top of her head for a minute while she pulled himself together.
“So how do you like your new apartment?” She asked as she stepped back, wiped her eyes and checked the time.
He burst out laughing, he just couldn’t help it, thinking about the night before, the two crazy, fighting neighbors, getting handcuffed and the conversations this morning, you couldn’t make that kind of stuff up if you tried.
“What, what’s so funny?” his sister asked as she bustled around behind the counter, setting the appointment book out alongside a notepad for messages.
“Steph, I’m not sure you’d believe me if I told you.” Jax managed once he’d stopped laughing.
“Try me, we’ve got almost a half hour before we open.”
Jax shrugged and told her the whole thing, from the noisy disturbance down to the invite to dinner.
“Oh, please tell me you accepted? Is he hot? He’s smokin’ right? You always seem to attract the hotties.”
“Yeah, I accepted. But sis, it’s just dinner, seriously, he’s…different.”
Steph leaned forward in her chair, elbows on knees, the ends of her black and blue streaked hair brushing against the backs of her hands. “Ohhh, different huh, different how?”
“Aren’t we supposed to be opening like,” Jax checked his watch and raised an eyebrow at her. “Five minutes ago?”
“Perks of being the owner, little brother,” she laughed, as she got up and opened the door. A quick flip of the sign announced that they were ready for business, and a quick glance at the appointment book told her that she had about two hours for walks ins.
“Alright, so we’ve got time, talk, at least until someone wanders in here,” she demanded.
“Pushy much?”
“Always, you should know that by now. Might as well spill it and get it over with.”
“He was getting his ass kicked,” Jax blurted. “I mean seriously, his face is a mess of bruises and all he would do was cower away from the guy. There wasn’t a mark on his hands, not from defending and not from trying to fight back. I just, that fuckin’ pissed me off.”
“Thus you going off on him and having to apologize. Yeah, wasn’t your finest moment but at least you were willing to admit that you fucked up.”
Jax shrugged. “Did I? I’m not even sure. I mean I shouldn’t have blasted him like that, but I feel like I have a right to be pissed off about it. I could have gotten arrested.”
“And how would that have been his fault?” She asked, the faintest hint of a grin pulling at the corners of her mouth. “Did he ask you to come over there and save him? Was he screaming for help?”
“No, they were just screamin’ and cussin’ at each other. Kinda reminded me of mom and Tony back in the day.”
She grimaced, her nose scrunching up like she’d smelled something awful. “That bad huh?”
“Yeah, it was pretty intense.”
“Mom’s changed you know,” Steph began.
Jax snorted and shot her a scathing glance. “Yeah, right.”
“I’m serious, Jax, ever since she got herself into counceling and learned how to make it on her own without a man in the house, she’s been different. She knows what she let Tony put her through was wrong, but Jax, she sne never let him lay a hand on us. It could have been much worse and you know it.”
“That doesn’t make it better, seeing her crying all the time and shit.”
“No, it doesn’t, but it was all she knew back then. We got out of there and we’ve done good for ourselves little brother, so why can’t you just leave the past in the past.”
“Thought I had, but shit like what happened last night just brings it back.”
“Then maybe it’s time you talk to someone about it. Maybe…Look, you’ve met some great guys but you always seem to pick them apart until you find something wrong with them. I’m not even going to try and analyze why, but I’m willing to bet it goes back to Tony and mom.
“Thought your specialty was tattooing, not making referrals to a shrink. Stick to what you know, sis.”
“I know you, Jax, and I just want to see you happy.”
“Happiness is an illusion.”
“Look around you Jax, this place is happiness, and it’s no illusion.” She pointed out as the bells on the door began to jingle, announcing they had a customer. Time to get to work, though sometime told Jax the conversation was far from over.
[break, end of section 4]
The day had been a long one, but fun and filled with interesting people. He’d done seven piercings, consulted with potential clients about four more, two of which already scheduled their appointments. In between his own work he’d answered the phone, taken messages, accepted an application and set up for the artist to interview with his sister later in the week. He’d picked them up some Thai food that they’d barely had time to eat but it was awesome working with Steph. He hadn’t realized how much the weight of the miles between them had weighed on him until he found himself sitting in a free moment and just watching her work.
He’d always admired her talent, but the truth was, he admired her strength and determination more. She’d taken a shitty situation and turned it into something remarkable. It made him proud that he could help her out with even a small part of it.
He was halfway up the stairs when his stomach grumbled. A quick check of his watch showed that he was about fifteen minutes early, but he hoped Danny wouldn’t mind. If he went to his apartment and dropped in a chair, he feared he’d fall asleep and miss dinner.
Danny greeted him with a smile, as did an amazing aroma drifting from the kitchen. His mouth started watering and he was afraid he’d embarrass himself entirely by drooling all over the place.
“Hey,” Danny greeted as he stepped back to usher Jax inside. “How was work? What ummm, I never did get the chance to ask what you do for work?”
Jack chuckled as he stepped inside, his eyes sweeping around the warm tones of the brightly lit living room.
“I work at my sister’s tattoo parlor, I do body piercings,” Jax replied. “Man, you’re place is pretty awesome. I love the colors, the whole room reminds me of fall.”
“Thanks, I can’t take any credit for it though, it was like that when I moved in. I love the browns and tans though, and it worked well with my furniture. I got lucky, really, I looked at two other units, one was shades of green and the other this pale, washed out blue.”
Jax scrunched up his nose. “I saw the blue one, that’s why I opted for the gray, most of my stuff is black or gray anyway, and I can’t wait until it gets here, ‘cause all I’m using right now is the stuff left over in the apartment.”
“When is your stuff supposed to arrive?” Danny asked as he carried a pan to the table and set it in the center alongside a pitcher of sweet tea and a plate of bisquits.
Jax practically bounded over to the table, eyes going wide when he saw the spread. “Holy shit is that pot roast?”
Danny couldn’t help but grin, pleased at jax’s enthusiasm. “Yup; I take it you approve?”
“Man, I love pot roast, haven’t had it in a very long time though. Last time was at my sister’s place, but that was before her husband died.”
“Wow, that’s umm,” Danny stammered, feeling himself flush a little, death always threw him, he never dealt with it well. “I’m umm sorry to hear that.”
“Thanks,” Jax muttered softly, clearly in no mood to talk about it either.
Danny rushed to change the subject, hoping to lighten things up for the both of them. “So umm, how long have you been doing piercings?”
“About three years,” Jax explained as he took a seat. “I got certified in Seattle and started working in a shop up there, but for the last year, my sis has been bugging me to move here to Des Moines, so I finally relented. Wasn’t a hard choice, really, I missed her and she needed me. Was a simple matter of organizing a move and getting a few buddies to drive the truck for me.”
“Wow, what did you have to promise them to get them to do that?” Danny asked as he brought over a bowl of roasted carrots and potatoes.
“Not a lot, actually, they’re relocating too, actually, so I agreed to pay for the truck and they agreed to drive it. They gave me cash to put a deposit down on a place for them, so guess who will be moving into the blue unit downstairs,” Jax chuckled.
Danny couldn’t help but laugh at that. “I guess coming out here first has its perks.”
“In this case, yeah, it really does. They’ll be here in a few days, as long as they don’t fight over the map. I can just see them ending up in the wrong state, though.”
“I have a few friends like that,” Danny chuckled. “Go ahead, dig in.”
“Thanks man, this smells amazing, I can’t wait to taste it,” Jax said as he filled his plate. He waited for Danny to fill his before he started eating though, was just something he’d learned young that had always stuck with him.
The first bite was like heaven, the meat tender and practically falling apart, in a flavorful gravy that left him wanting to close his eyes and savor it.
“Mmmm this is amazing,” Jax moaned after he’d swallowed the first bite. The blissed out expression on his face made Danny practically choke on his food, and he had to take a sip of tea just to wash it down properly. Jax’s eyes were half-lidded and he’d titled his head back a little, exposing his neck and the intricate tattoo that wove around his throat. Danny found himself wishing he could study it more closely, even as Jax sighed contently, and took another bite.
“Thank you, I’m glad you like it,” Danny said proudly.
“Like, naa man, I love it,” Jax said when he’d finished chewing. “You’re an awesome cook. You don’t do it for a living, do you, ‘cause that would be pretty cool.”
“Nope. I’ve taken a bunch of classes though, because I really hate eating the same things over and over. I’m a playwright, actually. I’ve had several pieces performed around the city and all over the state too. We even took the last one up to Minneapolis and St. Paul and it did extremely well, I’m pleased to say.”
Watching Danny talk about his work and the animated look of joy that crossed his face, made Jax curious about these plays. Not like he’d ever really been into the theater, but he appreciated a well done movie and figured that couldn’t be too different. Maybe he’d have to check one of them out. At the very least, Max and Callum would love to go. They loved all things art related and if there was anything he didn’t get, at least they’d be able to explain it to him.
Jax took another bite of the delicious meal, happy to take his time and enjoy it and the conversation. Danny seemed like a very nice guy, despite his poor choices in boyfriends. Maybe somewhere down the line, Jax could teach him a few things about fighting, then he wouldn’t need to be rescued from the next bad situation he found himself in. And something told him that Danny was really good about getting himself into bad situations.
[Break, end of part 5]
Jax looked up from his plate to realize they had both settled into comfortable silence as they ate, which was great, but he was curious to know more about Danny.
“Did you go to school to be a writer?” Jax finally asked. “My buddy Max, one of the ones moving here, he’s enrolled in that big writing course at the university, and Callum was excepted into Drake University to major in studio arts. His main focus is on sculpting, but I guess there are a ton of painting and drawing classes too.”
“Yes, there are, I have a few friends who went to Drake and I know exactly what course you’re talking about over at the university. I got my MFA from the Playwrights Workshop there; it’s one of the best in the country. “
“That’s pretty cool. I’ve got to admit, I’ve never seen a play.”
Danny’s eyes went a little wide. “Never, not even a high school production or something?”
Jax just grinned and shook his head. “Nope. Sorry. Never was in to sports either, or much of anything, really. I’m good with my hands, I can fix stuff when I need to, but until I got into doing piercings, there was nothing I was really passionate about.”
Danny studied the four piercings Jax had in each eyebrow, the two in his nose, three in the left corner of his lip, the one in his chin and the trail of them running up each ear. When he spoke, Danny could see a barbell through his tongue, and mentally shuddered at how many needles that must have involved. “Did you do your own?”
“Nope, my mentor, the guy who ran the place I used to work back in Seattle, he did them,” Jax explained. “And several of my tattoos too.”
“How many do you have?”
“Twenty-one,” Jax explained. “The biggest is on my back.”
For a moment, Danny simply sat, remembering the ones he’d seen on Jax’s chest earlier that morning, along with all of the water that had been running down it. It certainly had seemed like an impressive amount of work.
“Didn’t they hurt?” Danny asked, noticing jax sopping up some of the gravy with a biscuit, letting nothing go to waste.
“The ones on my ribs were the worse,” Jax said once he’d swallowed. “There’s one on my ankle that comes around onto my shin that hurt a lot too, and this one on my hand. Otherwise, no, not really. I take it you don’t have any ink.”
“Not a chance,” Danny laughed and poured them both some more tea. “Too afraid of needles.”
Jax just chuckled at that. “To each their own. If you ever change your mind, let me know. I’ll be happy to hook you up.”
“Umm, thanks,” Danny said, knowing that was one offer he knew he would never take Jax up on. But thinking about piercings did make him curious about something. “Are the ones in your face the only ones you have?”
A slow grin crossed Jax’s face. “Nope.”
For a moment, it was a standoff. Jax silently watching Danny, wondering if he’d have the guts to ask, while Danny stared at Jax trying to imagine where he had those other piercings.
“Umm, how about some dessert,” Danny asked as he stood to grab a severing spoon from the kitchen.
“I’d love some, thanks.” Jax said with a grin. “not gonna ask where they’re at, are you.”
“I umm, didn’t want to seem rude,” Danny said, blushing a little as he dished out some warm peach cobbler over Vanilla Bean ice cream.
“Uh-huh.”
The knowing smirk on Jax’s face was like a challenge Danny couldn’t back down from. He set the bowl and spoon down in front of Jax, then put his hands on his hips.
“Fine. Where are your other piercings?”
“Covered by my shirt and jeans,” Jax said mischievously.
“I kinda figured that,” Danny grumbled before sitting down with his own bowl.
“Tell me more about your plays?”
Danny grinned, grateful for the change in subject. “The one I’m currently working on is centered around a circus and a string of bad luck they’ve been having. All of them are superstitious in some way, and the comedy part of the play comes when they each try different things in an attempt to lift the ‘curse’ they believe they’re under. Of course, it turns out that there isn’t a curse, one of the performers has been sabotaging the circus and amusing herself watching everyone else freaking out about hexes and curses and old rumors.”
Jax cocked his head to the side, enjoying the cobbler and thinking about the storyline.
“Why?” he finally asked when his mouth was empty.
“Why what?”
“Why is she sabotaging the circus? I mean, it’s her job too, so why would she do that?”
Danny sighed and tapped the edge of his spoon against the placemat. “That’s the problem. I haven’t figured out a really viable reason for the things she does.”
“I’m sure it will come to you,” Jax said before taking another bite.
The look of bliss on his face thrilled Danny, and he realized his dessert was melting as he watched Jax eat.
“Man, this is good, whatever it is, holy shit, peach and a ton of flavor, wow,”
Danny beamed. “Thank you. It’s peach cobbler, it’s one of my favorite fall desserts.”
“Never had it before, but, I sure as hell wouldn’t turn down the chance to have it again, I love peaches. Plums too, they are some of my favorite fruits.”
“I love peaches too, and strawberries, and you should see what you can do when you mix peaches with raspberries, especially as a topping over ice cream.”
“Just the idea of that sounds really good, though I’m not sure I’ll think that when I’m getting up early in the morning to hit the gym. Speaking of which, you wouldn’t know of a good one in the area that doesn’t cost and arm and a leg for membership.”
Danny shook his head. “No, sorry, never really been much, for umm, weights and all that.”
“Ech, I do as much cardio as I do lifting. I just like being in shape. Plus I like being able to show off my tattoos. Not sure I’d want to go shirtless if I wasn’t rocking a six pack.”
Danny nodded at that, having never had a six pack in his life, or the desire to spend hours in the gym trying to get one. Besides, he’d hated gym in school, he’d never been the fastest or the strongest, though at least he’d had some good friends who’d made sure he was never picked last. Still, he’d always been self-conscious trying to play most of the sports they’d been assigned.
“That was an amazing meal, thank you. If I’d had to cook tonight it would have been sloppy joes and a beer before falling asleep in front of the TV.”
“Sloppy joes have their place, just not sure where,” Danny teased, shocked when Jax got up and helped him to clear the table.
“Let me help with the dishes, it’s the least I can do and you can tell me more about the play? It sounds kind of interesting.”
“Thanks,” Danny replied, grinning like an idiot all the way to the kitchen. He was too thrilled to care, though. Imagine that. Jax found his play interesting.
[Break, end of part 6.”
“So how’d the dinner go? You did go, right?” Steph asked, as soon as Jax walked through the door the following more.
He just shook his head at her enthusiasm as he pulled off his jacket and motorcycle helmet, before shaking out his long brown hair.
“Can I at least get through the door, sis?” he asked as he stored his things in the closet.
She pointed at the door, then at him. “Pretty sure you’re already through the door, so spill.”
“Damn, okay. I’d tell you that you didn’t have to be so pushy, or noisy, but I know by now that wouldn’t do me any good.”
“Exactly, so stop stalling and spill.”
“The food was amazing, Danny is an awesome cook. He’s also a playwright and I kinda ended up volunteering to help build sets when he gets his next play off the ground.”
“You…are going to build sets as a theater?”
“Don’t look so skeptical sis. I’ve already warned him that I know nothing about the theater. Apparently I don’t have to know anything other than my way around a saw, a hammer, a blowtorch, nails and a drill.”
“Well, in that case, maybe you’re overqualified,” she laughed.
“Maybe.”
“So it sounds like you had fun.”
Jax nodded as he set up his station, rearranging some of the body jewelry into a more appealing display. “Yeah, I did, and I think Max and Callum will really hit it off with him when they get here. Max left a message on my phone last night, saying they’d just reached the edge of Colorado and were about to enter Nebraska. They were supposed to be getting a hotel, then continuing on in the morning. So they should be there by the time I get home.”
“I hope you left them a key so they could start unloading?”
“Yeah, manager has the keys to their place and mine, so he can let them in. Hope they like pale blue.”
“Knowing them, they’ll just hang a ton of prints all over the place and cover almost every inch of it.”
“True.” Jax laughed. “And argue the entire time about which pieces do and don’t belong together.”
“You’d think they’d have figured it out by now.”
Jax glanced over at his sister, confusion written all over his face. “Huh? What? Where to put everything? I guess, I mean, they’ve been roommates long enough.”
“That too, but what I meant was, their relationship, or lack thereof. They’re perfect for one another. You can’t tell me you’ve never noticed? It didn’t take but a few days with those two to see that they should have been dating.”
“Huh? You’re kidding right?”
Steph facepalmed and just shook her head. “You can’t be that blind.”
“Sorry, sis, unlike you, I actually know how to mind my own business. “
“Well then it’s a good thing I’m nosy enough for the both of us,” she laughed as she flipped the sign to open. “I think I’ll make it my personal mission to see those two hook up, and while I’m at it, maybe I can meet this Danny of yours. Something tells me you two would get along wonderfully together.”
“Oh no, sis, no, I’m serious, no meddling, not even a little bit. I’m not looking for a boyfriend, or a relationship, or even a hook up right now. All I want is to get my apartment set up, keep those appointment books in order, and get some groceries for the fridge.”
“And after that?”
“Sleep, in a proper bed, and porn, ‘cause it’s been days since I got off and I…”
“TMI, Jax!” She yelled, clasping her hands over her ears. “Seriously bro, TMI!”
He laughed at that, grateful when she retreated across the room and busied herself setting up for her first appointment. The sudden jingle of bells drew both of their attention towards a trio of girls in calf high boots and super tight blue jeans. Too much makeup was his first thought as they made their way towards him, one of the girls shoving the girl in the middle forward as she eyed him up and down and blushed.
“She wants to get her nose pierced,” the girl on the left announced, a little louder than necessary. Her blond hair was streaked with black, and she had so much makeup around her eyes she looked like a demented raccoon. She also looked like she’d put way too much effort in looking older, all of them did, and he crossed his arms as he stared down at all three of them.
“Is that so. Well, then I need to see her ID.” He told them sternly. “Because in this shop, we don’t do piercings for anyone under the age of 18 without a parents permission.”
The girl in the middle’s face fell, a sure sign that she wasn’t legal. Still, it didn’t stop the loud blond from trying to persuade him to do it.
The blond fixed him with a glare and mimicked his stance, one hip cocked out, arms crossed. “She’s 19, so there, you can do it.”
“Then if that’s the case, she can show me her ID and we can get started,” he said, smirking a bit at her nerve.
The blond sputtered and stomped her foot, clearly unused to anyone denying her anything.
“Come on, Shannon, let’s just go, okay,” the girl in the middle said, yanking on her friends arm. “I told you it was a bad idea. My parents would have gone through the roof, anyway.”
As she ushered her friends out the door, the girl in the middle glanced back and shot him a shy, grateful smile. Poor kid, he had to wonder how many other dumb things her friends were going to push her to do before she found a backbone and learned to stand up to them.
“Good job,” Steph said from where she’d been watching across the room. “I’m sure they’ll find someone to do the piercing before the day is through, which sucks, but, until Iowa mandates an age for piercing the way they have for tattoos, they’ll always be places willing to pierce whoever has the money.”
“She didn’t even want it, not really.”
“Nope. It happens more often than you think. Part of the reason I decided on just a blanket eighteen for the shop. Last thing I need is some irate parent coming in here pitching a fit because their kid decided to let his or her friends talk them into doing something stupid.”
She studied him, a sly smile on her face.
“What?”
Laughing, she put dropped a bowl full of lollipops on her table and dropped in a chair. “I was just thinking of how much they reminded me of someone else I know.”
“Hey, I never did that shit.”
“No, you were the one pushing others into doing it. I will never forget the day Mrs. Ryan came by, yelling at mom because you’d convinced Trace that it would be a good idea to brand his arm with that comic book logo you’d made in welding class.”
“Hey, in my defense, it looked really cool once it healed. Branding was really in back then.”
“For about a minute,” Steph laughed. “I just hope Patricia McAdams is as big of a fan as he is, ‘cause I heard those two actually got married. I know if it was me, I wouldn’t want to look at that on my husband’s arm every day.”
“Trace got married? Shit. That’s messed up.”
“Why?”
“The guy was a fuckin’ genius, kinda figured he’d have gotten out of that place and gone off to college.”
She just shrugged.
“Don’t ask me, that’s just what I heard. You should write him, I’m sure he’d love to hear from you. Bet some of your others friends would too. Leaving home didn’t have to mean leaving behind everyone you used to know.”
“Yeah, well, guess maybe it was easier that way.”
“For who,” She muttered, but whatever she might have added was cut off by the arrival of her client. For the rest of the afternoon, it was all work, hard rock music, and little conversation.
“Leave it to you to show up after all the heavy lifting is through,” Callum laughed as he handed Jax a beer.
“Yup. Figured you guys could use the workout.”
“I don’t know about Callum, but what I could use is about a week to sleep,” Max said as he dropped down onto the couch. “Too bad we’ve got about four days before orientation and all that fun stuff.”
“That’s the price you pay for higher education,” Jax pointed out.
“Funny, I thought that was the tuition check?” Max shot back.
Jax surveyed both of them and laughed, “Better you two then me.”
“You could do it, if you wanted to,” Callum muttered, giving voice to a half-decade old argument between the three.
“Yeah, but you’re forgetting one major thing, I don’t wanna,” a grinning Jax reminded him.
“Yeah, yeah, so I thought you were supposed to be renting us a nice, quiet place. We weren’t here an hour before the cops were hauling some guy outta here.”
Jax frowned, beer frozen halfway to his lips. “From what floor?”
“Upstairs, man you’ve got some crazy people on your floor. Glad they’re up there. This guy was screaming about coming back and kicking doors down and setting shit on fire.”
“Fuck…” Jax breathed, setting his beer on the table. “I’ll be right back, I’ve gotta go check on someone.”
Before Max or Callum could say a word, Jax bolted from the apartment and up the stairs to beat on Danny’s door.
“G-go away!” Danny stammered from somewhere inside “I mean it Sean, I’ll call the cops again.”
Sean, so that was the big asshole’s name, He must have gotten bailed out today. Jax sighed and knocked lightly.
“It’s not Sean, Danny, It’s Jax. Are you okay?”
Silence. Great. While he tried to figure out what to say next, Jax noticed dark scuff marks about halfway up the door and a long split in the door frame. Frowning, he studied it closer, and noticed chunks of wood on the hallway floor. Holy shit, that fuckin’ bastard had tried to kick the damn door in.
A soft click preceded the door being pulled open and Danny poking his head out.
“Hey,” Jas said, shocked to find himself studying Danny to be sure he didn’t have any new bruises. “Heard you had a visitor today.”
Danny sighed and leaned against the doorway. “Yeah, Sean came back and he didn’t wanna listen when I told him he didn’t live here anymore. I had to call the cops on him, now tomorrow I get to spend half my morning getting a restraining order.”
Leaning, Danny noticed two guys standing halfway up the stairs, watching them intently. “Are those your friends?”
Jax glanced behind him to see concerned expressions on his best friends’ faces.
“Everything okay, Jax?” Callum asked warily.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. Why don’t you two stop lurking and come up here and meet Danny.
Danny glanced between the three of them as the two men joined Jax outside his door.
“Hi,” Danny said as he held out his hand. It was almost amusing, now that he could see them clearly. Neither looked like friends he would have expected Jax to have. Guess that was what he deserved for making assumptions.
“Hey Danny, I’m Callum,” the short, sandy haired man said as he shook Danny’s hand. Danny knew he’d gotten the short end of the stick in the height department but this guy was even shorter than him. If he was more than four inches over five feet Danny would have been shocked. Standing next to Jax, didn’t really help any, because his tattooed giant of a neighbor dwarfed him. Not only that but Callum looked more like a professor than a student, even with his shirt untucked and holding a beer.
“And I’m Max.”
Danny shook the second man’s hand, and nearly cringed at his firm grip. He wasn’t as tall as Jax, but he was wider and stockier. Not nearly as defined as Jax either and Danny blushed to find himself actually doing a mental comparison of the way Jax had looked when he’d had his shirt off. Max might be bigger, but no way in hell would he have looked as good. His hair was longish in front, shorter in the back, coal black and a little matted. He reminded Danny a little of some of the jocks he’d known back in high school. He just hoped he wasn’t as big a creep as most of them had been.
“Nice to meet you both,” Danny said, crossing his arms over his chest and half expecting them to all go back downstairs now that Jax had seen that he was okay.
“Wanna come down stairs and have a beer with us?” Jax offered.
Danny gave him a polite smile and shook his head, already backing into his apartment. “I’d better not, I’ve got to be up early in the morning and drinking really isn’t my thing. “
“Oh well we’ve got sodas too,” Max offered.
“Yeah, I think I’ll pass, no offense but, I don’t really like hanging out with people while they’ve been drinking either,” Danny said firmly, hands gripping the door. “Talk to you later, Jax.”
Jax scowled as Danny pushed the door shut.
“Goodnight, Danny,” he muttered wondering if the other man had even heard him as he closed the door in Jax’s face.
Callum frowned at the door before glancing over at Jax as Max headed back down the stairs to their apartment. “That was…odd.”
“Yeah, I um…” At a loss for words, Jax just shook his head and followed his friends, relieved to know Danny was okay.
[break]
“Ugggg, Stop, stop, just break already. Take fifteen!” Danny hollered.
“Make it twenty,” his stage manager called out with a sigh. He pinched the bridge of his nose and reminded himself that Danny had never been so uptight at the start of production before.
Several feet away, Danny sat front row center, a crumpled coffee cup clutched tight in his fist. First he scowled at the stage, then he glared at the clipboard on his lap before drawing a large, red X through one of the scenes.
“Alright, spill,” Herman demanded as he dropped into the seat beside Danny.
Danny glanced up at his stage manager and longtime friend, then back at the clipboard. “It’s all crap, all of it. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. This wasn’t ready for casting, it wasn’t even ready for a reading, the whole damn thing needs to be tossed in a shredder and…”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second, where the hell is all of this coming from?”
Eyes wide, Danny threw up his hands, the crushed cup sent flying. “Are you watching the same rehearsals as I am!”
“They’re pretty rough right now, but not bad enough to burn the entire play.”
“Shred.”
“Burning is more final,” Herman reminded him . “More dramatic too. We work in a playhouse, we have to do things right. “
“And what if we’re not certain that we know what’s right anymore?”
Herman beamed and got comfortable in the old, cloth seat. “Now it seems like we’re getting somewhere.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you’ve been out of sorts all week. One minute you tell people to slow a scene down and a couple run throughs later and you’re telling them to speed it up again. The cast has no clue what you want, hell it doesn’t seem like YOU know what you want, which really isn’t like you Danny. So what’s really going on, because I’m not convinced its issues with the play.”
Danny groaned and ran his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t realize I was being such a pain in the neck.”
“Yeah, well, you were, still are really, so let’s get to the bottom of why so I can stop needing to spike my coffee every morning before I come to work.”
“You’ve always spiked you’re coffee in the morning, you’ve been doing it for as long as I’ve known you.”
“Longer, but I’ve had to up the amount lately and that I attribute to you, not stop avoiding the subject and tell me what’s got your tie in a twist.”
“I kicked Sean out!” Danny blurted. “Had to go down and get a restraining order too.”
“And it’s about time. Please don’t tell me you’ve been a dick all week because you’ve been pining for that jerk and wishing you could take it back, because I swear if that’s the case, I’m going to tie you up in the rigging and leave you to hang there until common sense wins out. Sean was a jerk, he treated you like crap. I say good riddance and move the hell on.”
Danny looked over at his friend and couldn’t help but smile. Herman’s curls looked frazzled, his eyes were animated and he’d gone from slouching in the seat to perched on the edge of it, leg bouncing wildly as if he planned to launch into some crazy scheme. One that would likely leave Danny locked in a prop room or swinging from the rigging just to keep him away from Sean.
“I’m not pining for Sean.” Danny quickly sought to assure him. “You were right about him, you were all right about him and I’m sorry I didn’t listen.”
Herman’s leg stilled and his hands gripped the edge of his seat as he leaned forward intently, staring into Danny’s eyes. “Exactly how much was I right about?”
For a moment, Danny considered not telling him, but the look in Herman’s eyes told him that his friend already knew, he was just waiting for Danny to confirm it.
“All of it, okay. I didn’t get hit in the eye by a stray football while I was walking through the park. I got hit by Sean’s fist and it wasn’t the first time.”
“Son of a bitch! What the hell Danny! Why did you lie! Why did you let him stick around! We could have made him disappear easy! A prop coffin, some chains, no one ever would have heard from him again!”
“And then we’d all be in jail and they’d be making a play about an entire playhouse full of actors and producers gone insane and committing murders.”
“One murder, perfectly justified and it would make for one hell of a dramatic comedy,” Herman grumbled.
The look on Herman’s face was enough to send Danny into a fit of laughter. His friend looked so serious and so ready to commit the acts he’s spoken of that Danny found himself doubled over, laughing so hard his stomach hurt. But it was a good hurt, and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed so hard. Well, he could, but that would mean thinking about Jax. The fit of laughter ended as soon as it started and Danny sat up and wiped the moisture from his eyes.
“Okay, seriously though, Danny, if you could care less about Sean then what’s the issue?”
Danny sighed, all the good feelings fading away. “The night that I kicked him out, my new neighbor had to come break things up. Wasn’t the best way to meet, but we ended up having dinner the next night, wanted to thank him for helping. It was fun. I think, up until that point, I’d forgotten how nice a good meal and conversation could be. Anyway, long story short, I um, I’m pretty sure I offended him and I’ve been trying to catch up to him to apologize.”
“Only, you can’t,” Herman supplied, shaking his head at Danny like he was the most pathetic person on the planet. “So you’ve been growling at everyone else while you stew over whether you have or have not alienated this neighbor with the amazing conversation skills.”
“Well…yeah.”
Herman just shook his head. “You need to get out more. Seriously, Danny, that’s kind of pathetic. I mean, the guy could be working late or have a billion and one other things going on, hell he could be out on a date, which is where you should be instead of holed up in your apartment every night.”
“I have no intention of dating anyone for the foreseeable future, At least a year, maybe two.”
“And your junk will shrivel up and fall off if you neglect it for so long.”
“I don’t need to date for that,” Danny muttered, blushing.
“Yeah, anyway.”
“I just felt like Jax and I really hit it off and thought it would be cool to have a friend in the building for a change. Someone who was actually interested in hearing me talk about the plays I’ve been working on and doesn’t mind hanging out long after most folks have gone to bed.”
“And what am I?”
“The guy who leaves here, changes and rushes to whatever club has caught his fancy this week, all in the hopes of picking up the next Ms. Wasn’t Meant To Be.”
“Ouch, that’s, kinda harsh.”
“Tell me isn’t accurate, though.”
“Okay, it is, but damn, you don’t have to say it so bluntly.”
“I’ll remind you of that the next time you’re lecturing me about my poor relationship choices.”
Herman had the good graces to look sheepish and avert his eyes. “Okay, so maybe we both suck in the relationship department.”
“You can say that again.”
“Look, why don’t we call it a day? I doubt you’re going to be easy to work with until you’ve had a talk with your new friend and I um, did have my eye on a new club tonight. You know the one that opened down on Court Ave?”
“Nope, and before you ask, I have no intention of knowing it either, thank you. I think I will go home, work on the new play and hope I can catch up with Jax. Maybe I’ll throw a pan of lasagna together, see if he’s hungry when he gets home from work. If he gets home from work.”
“There ya go. And if he doesn’t show up, do us all a favor, Danny.”
“What’s that.”
“Call in sick tomorrow.”
Danny laughed at that and stood, stuffing his clipboard back in his backpack and searching around for the accidently launched cup. Once he’s found and properly disposed of it, he was on his way. Hoping that the long walk would untangle the thoughts that had been running through his head all week. It wasn’t like him to become so fixated on someone so fast. So what was it the big tattoo artist that had him all tied up in knots? One thing was for certain, he’d better figure it out quick and get it resolved, before his stage manager staged a mutiny.
Heavy boots on the stairs sent Danny to his door, peering through his peephole to try and get a glimpse of who was coming up the stairs. When he saw a very familiar tattooed arm go past, he undid the locks and pulled the door open, calling out to Jax just as he was opening the door to his apartment.
“Hey,” Jax called back as he turned around.
“Can I talk to you a minute?”
“Sure, hang on one sec,” Jax replied, opened his door and set the bag he was carrying and his backpack inside his apartment, then closed the door and locked it back before joining Danny in his doorway.
“What’s going on?”
Danny gave him a hesitant smile. “I just wanted to say I was sorry.”
Jax frowned as he tried to figure out what Danny could possibly be sorry about. “Okay, what for?”
Now it was Danny’s turn to be thrown and he found himself blinking as he fumbled to put together the right words.
“I didn’t mean to offend anyone with that remark about drinking,” Danny explained. “It’s just that after Sean, I’m not really feeling very comfortable around alcohol.”
“Understandable, and for the record, no one was offended.”
Danny’s face flushed and found himself feeling a bit stupid for how much he’d obsessed about the entire incident. “Oh.”
“So how’s the play coming along?”
“Slowly,” Danny had to admit as Jax leaned against the wall, crossing his legs and seeming to get comfortable there. “I’d hoped to be finished writing the new one before it was time to start rehearsals on the one I’d finished workshoping but it isn’t working out the way I had planned.”
“Why not? Too busy to write?”
“More like hating everything I’ve been writing. I know where I want the story to go, I just can’t seem to get it there.”
Jax was quiet for a moment, chewing his bottom lip the way Danny usually found himself chewing on the end of a pen.
“Maybe that’s your problem.”
Danny frowned. “I don’t follow you.”
“What I mean is that you’re trying to get the story to go someplace instead of just allowing it to go there.”
Upon hearing that, Danny’s spine went rigid, his arms crossed and he almost seemed to bristle. The fact that Jax not only noticed that he struck a nerve, but actually had the nerve to chuckle about it just made Danny frown more.
“Relax,” Jax said, grinning, “And by the way, you just proved my point.”
“Well maybe if you explained your point better, it would be easier to understand,” Danny grumbled.
“Okay, answer me this, where do you write?”
“Here, I’ve got a nice view out the window and all the tea I could ever want.”
“Which sounds boring as hell,” Jax pointed out. “Look, I’m not a writer, but I’ve spent enough time with creative people to know that you have to go out and live life, experience shit in order to be able to sit down and actually get words or images to flow on paper.”
“So now you’re saying I’m boring.”
“Nope, you are, I just said it had to be boring sitting around here all the time. Maybe your struggling with your play because you’ve been pushing so hard to force yourself to get it done. Maybe what you need is a day away from it, and here.”
“So I should, what, go wander around aimlessly? See a movie? Visit a museum?” Danny tossed out there, beginning to ponder whether Jax could actually be on to something. It had been awhile since he’d done much of anything besides work on his plays and put up with Sean.
“Well,” Jax said, the grin on his face stretching just a little bit more. “I’m off tomorrow, you could always show me around the city.”
The suggestion completely threw Danny for a loop, for a moment, then he quickly nodded. “I can do that. Maybe you’re right, it might be good for me.”
“And even if it doesn’t work, at least you’ll be doing a good deed and keeping me from wandering around aimlessly getting lost. I have a horrible sense of direction.”
“Well in that case, I guess you do need a guide. What time do you want to head out?”
Now it was Jax’s turn to look sheepish. “I um, kinda forgot to grab milk at the store tonight, or juice, or eggs, and I forgot bread too, so maybe we’d better head out around eight and find a diner or something.”
Danny couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing at the completely hopeless look on Jax’s face.
“So then what was in the bag?” Danny finally asked.
“Chili fixings and some boxed corn bread mix,” Jax admitted sheepishly, eliciting a laugh from both of them.
“Well we know where your priorities lie,” Danny said. “So, tomorrow, eight o’clock?”
“Perfect,” Jax said as he shoved away from the wall. “Thanks, Danny.”
“You’re welcome,” Danny said and waved as Jax headed back to his apartment.
“Maybe if you tell me the things you like, it will help me narrow down where we should go. It’s not the biggest city, but there’s still plenty to see,” Danny explained as they walked out of a rustic brick building that housed one of the local diners. Jax was carefully tucking a box of pastries in his backpack, alternately bemoaning all the extra workout hours he’d have to put in, and praising how good they’d looked and smelled.
Danny laughed and studied Jax intently. “I seriously think you need to stop worrying so much about a few snacks. You’re in amazing shape.”
“And I fully plan to keep it that way.”
Something about the way he said it gave Danny a moment of pause, but he didn’t know Jax well enough to comment, at least not yet, but in the short time that they’d known one another, it struck Danny as odd how body obsesses Jax got whenever sugar and desserts were involved.
“So, you never answered my question,” Danny remarked. “What do you like.”
Jax sucked in a breath and paused to lean against a building, his eyes skimming the block. “Truth is, I don’t do much. I like to wander around, go for walks and shit. I like fast rides, love amusement parks, especially the roller coasters. I swim, though I doubt I’ll find an outdoor pull around here, though if you know of a good indoor one that can help too. I used to play a lot of hockey, so if you know of a skating rink that would be great too.”
“If you like amusement parks we should go to Adventureland before the season ends, their coasters are killer.”
A slow smile spread across Jax’s face. “Definitely. You’ll have to show me which one is your favorite, the faster the better.”
“How about next weekend?”
“You’re on.”
“Perfect.” Jax replied and the way he drew out the first part of the word like an overly content cat sent a shiver down Danny’s spine.
“There’s a public skating rink, I’m not sure where exactly, but I now a few people who go sometime.”
“What about you?”
Danny shook his head and held out in his hands in front of him as if trying to ward off the entire idea. “I can do without a broken ankle, thanks.”
“It’s not so hard, once you get the hang of it. Just picture rollerblading but with ice.”
“And I don’t rollerblade either, the whole idea of strapping wheels to my feet just doesn’t hold any appeal.”
“Hmmm,” Jax said thoughtfully. “Where do you usually go to unwind?”
“Comedy theater,” Danny replied immediately, “And paintball, well, I used to play paintball, haven’t in a while.”
“I’ve never played,” Jax admitted. “Always wanted to, never found the time.”
“Then that’s something else we’ll have to do some time,” Danny suggested. “They’ll be packed as hell today. It’s an indoor place.”
“If you got comedy theater, you’ve got to have murder mystery nights too, right?”
“Oh yeah, they have a murder mystery dinner every Friday and Saturday night over on 12th street.”
“Figures,” Jax grumbled. “Those are my busiest nights of the week.”
Danny sighed and shuffled from one foot to the other, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. The idea of showing jax around had been exciting at first, but now he was starting to wonder they would ever get off the block.
“So what would a typical Saturday be like, if you were going out on your own?”
Danny licked his bottom lip, reluctant to share what he was certain would be a boring string of stops to someone like Jax.
“Well, we already covered breakfast,” Danny began hesitantly. “It’s almost nine and the new ice age exhibit opened last week at the museum. I haven’t seen it yet, so I’d head in that direction. Along the way I’d stop at this amazing indy bookstore and picky up a few things.”
One glance at Jax and Danny noticed that his eyes had lit up and he was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet like a little kid.
“Ice age exhibit?
“Yup. Iowa apparently had all kinds of animals here once. American Camel, cave bear, sabretooth cats, bison, ancient horses, sloths, mastodons, they’ve been finding tusks and skulls and all kinds of teeth in the creeks and old farm properties.”
“No shit.”
“Yeah. They’ve even put together a mobile exhibit. I hear its all pretty cool,” Danny said.
“Sounds that way. I’d like to see it, I mean since you were gonna go check it out sometime anyway we might as well check it out together, and that bookstore you were talking about.”
Danny’s mouth fell open a little as he tried to make sense of Jax’s words. “Really?”
“Yeah. Why, what’s wrong, why are you staring at me that way?”
“I just never took you for the museum sort.”
“Why?”
“Your….” Danny’s words trailed away and instead he gestured towards Jax, clearly searching for a way to describe him and scowling when Jax began to laugh.
“What’s so funny?” Danny asked indignantly.
“You know what they say about assumptions,” Jax chuckled. “Now come on Mr. Tour guide and lead the way.”
***
“Thanks, today was pretty awesome,” Jax told Danny as they reached the top of the stairs and the door to Danny’s apartment.
“Yeah, it was, though I still think one of the best parts was you snarfing diet soda. Was a huge plus that it was green too.”
“shut up you!” Jax couldn’t help but laugh though, it had been kinda funny. “At least I wasn’t the one talking about having a recipe for moccasins.”
Danny nearly choked he started laughing so hard, and by the time he stopped he was wiping tears from his eyes while Jax studied him. Danny was the furthest thing from what he was usually attracted to. It wasn’t just that he was smaller than Jax and more into books than being outdoors, it wasn’t even that he hadn’t fought back against his ex, though that would typically have been a big turn off. He’d just figured them to be too different, all the way across the board, until today, when somehow they’d managed to have a completely awesome time while blending both of their likes into an amazing tour of the city.
Jax couldn’t remember the last time he’d had that much fun with anyone, outside of Callum and Max and he’d never considered dating either of them. Not the way he was considering asking Danny if he wanted to go out sometime.
“You’re not going to let me live that down, are you?” Danny asked.
Jax paused and looked thoughtful, smirking as several thoughts slid through his mind. “Maybe,” he said at last. “If you’ll come over and show me exactly how one might go about preparing moccasin medium rare and what kind of spices to use.”
They both ended up laughing then, deep, gasping, full on belly laughter, and when they stopped, they were face to face, eye to eye.
Jax licked his lips and Danny’s eyes widened as Jax moved in closer.
This is stupid
The inner voice in Jax’s mind screamed at him to put on the breaks and pull back. This was his neighbor, maybe even a friend, the last thing he needed was to make shit awkward when he decided to start listing all the reasons that it wouldn’t work between them.
And yet…he couldn’t make himself stop.
As if on its own accord, Jax’s hand reached out to cup Danny’s cheek, one finger brushing along the still fading bruise beneath Danny’s eye as he shifted forward and brushed the gentlest kiss he’d ever given across Danny’s lips.
“Do you want to go out with me sometimes,” Jax asked softly, having barely pulled away.
“Yeah,” Danny breathed, eyes fluttering closed when Jax kissed him again, just as gentle.
“Jax!” Max bellowed, causing jax to jerk back completely and drop his hand. He stood there blinking as he tried to get his bearings, kicking himself for what he’d just done. “Hey, Jax, you up there man!”
“Dude!” Jax yelled back as Max came thundering up the stairs. “We’re not sharing a house anymore, man, other people live here, you can’t run around hollering like that.”
“Shit man, I forgot, sorry. Hey Danny, how you been.”
“Umm, good,” Danny stammered, already fitting his key in the lock, he gave Jax a small smile, popped the door open and stepped in. “Night Jax,”
“Goodnight, Danny.”
Danny closed the door, leaving the pair out in the hallway. Jax hear the lock being engaged and closed his eyes, letting his head fall back and hit the wall as he groaned loudly.
“Jax, you okay?”
“Not in the slightest,” Jax muttered
“Why? What happened?”
“I kissed him.”
“Shit. What took you so long?”
Jax just groaned again and scrubbed a hand down his face. “So what the hell were you yelling about.”
“Oh man, just wanted you to come downstairs and see what we’ve done with the place, and as an added bonus, we’ve got the game machine hooked up.”
Jax’s eyes popped open and he grinned at his friend. “Zombie kill night?”
“Oh yeah, my friend, it’s zombie kill night.”
“In that case lead the way, I need to shoot shit tonight.”
“Yeah? Why?”
“’Cause it’ll take my mind off how bad I wanna beat on the door ‘til he answers, then kiss him senseless.”
***
Inside of his apartment, Danny ran his fingers through his hair, wandered into the kitchen then back out again after he realized he’d forgotten what he’d gone in there for.
Jax had kissed him.
He touched his fingertips to his lips, and smiled.
Jax had kissed him.
Lyric and Chorus wound around his feet, mewing loudly, while Inferno paced between him and the cat bowl like a circling shark, tail lashing angrily over the empty condition of the dish.
“Okay, okay, I hear you,” Danny told them, then knelt and gave each of their heads a pat before heading back into the kitchen to fill their dish. It’s what he’d meant to do when he’d gone in there.
Jax had kissed him.
He felt so giddy he wanted to laugh out loud. His stomach fluttered and he couldn’t stop reaching up to touch his lips, still imaging the softness of Jax’s lips against his own. No one had ever kissed him like that. Sean’s kisses had always been rough, aggressive, more of a punishment then a turn on. Jax kissed like he asking, coaxing, exploring and savoring every moment of the unknown. For that brief moment, Danny had felt cherished, desired, and his stomach fluttered again.
As the cats dug into their meal, Danny flopped on the couch and snatched up the phone, dialing Herman’s number even as he reached up to touch his lips again.
Unbelievable. Jax. Had. Kissed. Him.
“Hey, didn’t expect to hear from you tonight.”
“Jax kissed me,” Danny blurted as soon as Herman finished speaking.
“Was it any good?”
“It was, different, a really good different”
Herman chuckled.
“That explains why you sound like a twelve year old right now.”
“Oh, fuck you, I do not.”
“I don’t know, wouldn’t want your tatted up biker to get pissed off at me. I’m a lover, not a fighter, man and the way you describe this guy, he could punt me across the street without even breaking a sweat. And yes, you do. You totally do.”
“Asshole.”
Laughter, and Danny couldn’t help but laugh too.
“So what else happened?”
“We went to Gaslight Books, then over to the Ice Age Exhibit, then we had lunch at Giuseppe’s and…”
“Wait, Wait, backup…you took him to Gaslight’s? What were you doing, picking something up?”
“No, we were browsing, we ended up being in there for almost two hours and….”
“Hold the phone. You had him in a bookstore for two hours? What did he do, get bored and fall asleep in a chair?”
“If you would stop interrupting me, maybe I’d be able to tell you!” Danny snapped. “Damn. Turns out he’s a huge Fantasy nut and somewhat of an amateur archeologist, loves fiddling around with a metal detector in his spare time. He raided the place for books, his backpack had to be pretty heavy carrying it around the rest of the day. “
“So you found yourself a smart biker who likes digging in dirt and piercing people. That’s…really kind of cool actually.”
“Yeah, he’s awesome. And he didn’t get frustrated when I started going on and on about the play over Lunch. In fact, he started asking questions, he was actually interested in not just hearing about it, but he said he’d come see if too, when we open.”
“Sure he wasn’t just saying that shit to get in your pants?”
“He didn’t kiss like he was trying to get in my pants. He kissed like he wanted to leave something new to discover the next time we got together.”
“So when are you going out again?”
Danny groaned, remembering the way they were interrupted.
“No clue. He asked if I wanted to go out ‘sometime’ and I said yes, but before we could iron out the details one of his buddies showed up looking for him and well, I said goodnight and came in before it could get awkward.”
“Awkward how?”
“Oh, I don’t know, I just, didn’t want to feel like a third wheel, you know.”
“I know you’re not very social, but didn’t you say his friends lived in the building? Maybe you could get to know them too, hang out together while you get to know him more. You can tell a lot about someone by the people they hang out with.”
“True, and one of them is studying to be a writer. The other’s in art school.”
“Damn, seems like our kind of people.”
“I just…something’s been bothering me all night.”
“Ohhhh fuck, come on Danny, you have got to stop doing this. Every time you meet a nice guy you have to stop nit picking until you find something wrong with him. Live a little, for once, stop looking for the bad and just have fun.”
“It’s nothing like that.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I’m serious, it isn’t about finding something wrong with him, not in that way anyways.”
“But…”
“But he’s really hot. Like totally ripped, but he’s kind of obsessive about food, it’s really weird.”
“Obsessive how?”
“Like anytime he eats something sweet or goes to order something, he talks about how much extra he’ll have to work out if he has it.”
“So, are we talking narcissism here, or just your typical self-obsessed asshole?”
“No, nothing like that, more like someone who’s scared of gaining weight or something. With everything he ordered I could see him looking at other stuff, like really eyeing it, but aside from some muffins, he ordered the healthiest things on the menu, no deserts, one diet soda which he called a treat, and the rest water or juice. He wouldn’t even have an ice cream cone at Greenwalls, even though he studied the flavors intently then stared at me while I ate mine.”
“Maybe he’s just a health food nut.”
“Maybe. I don’t know.”
“Then leave it alone. You barely know the guy. Get to know him, and then if something’s up, maybe he’ll feel comfortable talking to you about it.”
“Yeah. You’re right.”
“Of course I’m right. That’s why you call me.”
“No, I call you ‘cause you’re the only one I know who’s home every night.”
Danny laughed when Herman began sputtering, unable to formulate a response.
“Seriously though, thanks for listening. I’m still trying to wrap my head around that amazing kiss.”
“Long as you get it out of your system tonight. Last thing I want to here about all day tomorrow is some ‘magic kiss.’”
Laughing again, Danny swore he wouldn’t mention it during rehearsals, then he said goodnight and headed for the shower. Still, as he lay in bed, memories of the day with Jax and the kiss kept him awake far, far into the night.
^^^
“Stubborn much?”
“I can finish my shift, sis, don’t worry about it,” Jax grumbled rubbing his temples and groaning when the bell over the shops door jangled.
“Fine but if you’ve still got that headache tomorrow, stay home and rest, okay.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be fine, quit your worrying.”
“Never, I’m older for a reason,” she laughed as she went to tend to their customer.
A half hour later the young man left with both eyebrows pierced, and Jax had a ten dollar tip in his pocket. From behind him, he heard his sister snickering.
“What?” He asked as he turned around and headed for the coffee pot. He poured a steaming cup and gulped at it, desperate for the caffeine to kill the pain.
“He was eyeing you like you were a t-bone,” she remarked.
“Yeah, no shit,”
“Shocked he didn’t hand you a phone number along with that tip.
Jax reached into his pocket and pulled out the ten, unfolding it to see a slip of white paper fall out and flutter to the floor. He wobbled a little as he bent to pick it up and squinted as he read it.
“Apparently he did,” Jax muttered, tossing the number away and pocketing the ten.
“Wow, not gonna call it? I think I’m really worried now.Aare you sure it’s just a headache?”
Jax sighed and dropped into a chair to finish his coffee. “Yeah, a headache that you’re making worse. I just wasn’t interested, okay.”
“Does it have anything to do with why you weren’t answering your phone all day on Thursday?”
“Was my day off, saw no reason to answer it.”
“Or maybe you were too busy wrapped up in the sheets with a hot girl or an even hotter guy, or both, it was both, wasn’t it?”
Jax groaned and ran his free hand through his hair. “No it wasn’t both, it’s been months since I’ve had both at the same time and what the fuck was I thinking telling you about it?”
“Allowing me to live vicariously through you, that’s what. I’m widowed, not dead, got to have some thrills in my life.”
“How about you get your own, then?”
“I’m not ready for that yet,” she replied and Jax wanted to kick himself, knowing how insensitive he’d sounded.
“Sorry sis,” he muttered.
“Its fine, you don’t want to share, don’t share.”
“I’m just not sure what to make of it yet,” Jax admitted, hoping the caffeine kicked in soon and took some of the pain away.
“So there is something going on?”
Jax chuckled. “You never quit, do you?”
“I guess not, it’s too engrained, I can’t help it, there’s always something going on with you.”
“Well, in this case, nothin’ is goin’ on, but I think I want there to be.”
She clapped her hands and Jax flinched and lay his head on the counter beside him. “Oh shit, Jax, I’m sorry.”
“I think I’m gonna puke,” Jax groaned, keeping his eyes squeezed tightly shut.
She lay her hand on his back and gently began rubbing circles.
“Breathe slow and relax. You need to go home and at this point, I don’t think you can drive yourself. Let me call Callum and Max and see if one of them can come get you.”
Jax exhaled a ragged breath, hating the throbbing pressure that was making him wish for death.
“Yeah, yeah, okay,” he managed.
“Where’s your phone?”
“Jacket pocket, turned off.”
“Okay. Just stay still and try not to puke,” she said, even as she carefully placed the metal garbage can beside him. “And if you do, please, please, please get it in that.”
Jax didn’t even bother with a response, he just breathed and clung to the counter, his sister’s voice dim as she called his friends.
“Okay, Jax?” she asked. She was closer now, kneeling beside him. “Hey, hun, how are you doing?”
“Workin’ on not pukin’”
“Good, ‘cause I’ve got bad news. Max was at home, but Callum was stuck at work and he has the car.”
Jax moaned pitifully. “Shit.”
“Is there anyone else I can call?”
Jax was silent, at this point he’d have tried crawling the seventeen blocks, but figured he’d end up curled in a doorway after less than two.
“Danny,” he muttered, knowing he sounded pathetic. He really did not want the guy who’d started creeping into his dreams to see him this way, but at the moment, he wasn’t even sure if he could stand.
“Okay, I’m gonna dim the lights back here a little first,” she said and moved away.
The voice in his head that screamed ‘suck it up’ and ‘tell her to forget it’ was drowned out by the pounding of the migraine. The shop bells jingled and when he tried to stand to go help, he ended up just slithering onto the floor and pressing his head against the cool metal of the filing cabinet.
He heard her gasp entirely too loud when she came back in and saw him there. “Shit, Jax, maybe you need to go to the hospital.”
“No,” he groaned.
“Okay, but, I’ve never seen you have one this bad.”
“Please say Danny is coming.”
“He’s on his way. I’ll bring your bike in here when after I close tonight, it’ll be just fine.”
“Thanks, sis.”
“Thank me by getting some rest and feeling better,” she said. “I’ve got to go, guy just walked in looking to get a snake tattoo to cover up his ex-girlfriend’s name.”
“Joy,” Jax groaned, grimacing.
“I’ll send Danny back as soon as he gets here. At least now I finally get to meet him,” she remarked before hurrying out of the room.
Jax just moaned miserably, hoping Danny would hurry the hell up.
As soon as Danny stepped into the tattoo shop, he froze. The art on the wall was eye catching, and so were the photographs of people’s piercings and the sparkling jewelry they’d chosen to adorn their bodies with. Just the sight of which made him want to cringe. A woman in a red and black tank top paused the buzzing of her tattoo gun and looked up, her face breaking into a grin as soon as she caught sight of him.
“You must be Danny.”
“Um…yeah, are you Steph?”
“Yup. Jax is in the back. He insists on going home instead of the hospital. Try talking him into it, will ya. If you can’t then stay with him, please. I’ve never seen him have a migraine this bad.”
“Has he taken anything for it?”
“Just some generic stuff, it didn’t do anything but make him sick to his stomach,” she explained.
Danny nodded. “I have some experience with migraines, my mom used to get them all the time. She used to put lavender oil on a cold compress and lay it on her forehead. I’ve got some lavender oil at my place.”
“At this point, I’m sure he’ll be willing to try anything. Go on through to the back,” she said, waving him towards the beaded divider.
Danny pushed the beads aside carefully, not wanting to get tangled up in the things or make too much noise, but he couldn’t help but gasp when he saw Jax seated on the floor, his head on the seat of a chair, hugging the legs and groaning in pain.
“Jax?” Danny whispered cautiously as he came to kneel beside him.
“Fuuuuck, Danny, get me outta here,” Jax groaned.
“That’s what I’m here to do,” Danny whispered. “But I need your help. You see you’re kinda big, and I’m not very strong, so, you gotta get to your feet big guy.”
Jax heaved a sigh and slowly uncoiled from around the base of the chair. “Mmmkay.”
When he raised his head, Danny could see the way that his eyes were clenched painfully shut and his heart went out to Jax. He looked positively miserable. Danny pulled one of Jax’s arms over his shoulder and wedged himself beneath it before trying to climb to his feet only to find that Jax was practically dead weight.
“Okay, Jax, this is the part I need your help with.”
“Floors cold, just lay me there and let me die.”
“Nope, sorry I can’t do that,” Jax said as Jax tried to lurch forward to sprawl on the ground. “The way I see it, you have two choices. Help me get you home, where I have a cold compress and some lavender oil that might help you, or, let your sister take you to the hospital.”
“Uggggg okay, okay,” Jax grumbled, got his feet underneath him and stood, swaying until Danny slid an arm around his waist to steady him.
Like a shambling pair of drunks they maneuvered across the room, Jax nearly getting them both tangled in the beads until Danny brushed his hands away from the strands and untangled them.
Steph was still hard at work, but she paused to watch them for a moment as Danny steered Jax out the door, the bells jangling loudly behind them.
Outside, Jax swore and visibly cringed at the sound of the bells and Danny was grateful that he’d found a spot right near the entrance to the shop because Jax was heavy even when he was helping.
Once he had Jax buckled in the seat, he took a moment to rub his shoulder and shake the pain out. How he was going to get Jax up a flight of steps once they were back at the apartments was beyond him. As it was, Jax had his head pressed against the glass and looked to be doing his best to fall asleep, which he’d be happy to let him do, once they were back at his apartment.
With a sigh, Danny went around and got in, careful to turn off the radio before he started the car. The ride back to the apartment was silent, save for Jax groaning every time they hit a bump. Danny hoped he didn’t suffer from these often, he really didn’t seem to handle them well.
He parked and took a moment to assess the situation, finally deciding that the best plan of action would be to go see if Max could help. Steph had said he was home but without a vehicle, which was why she’d ended up calling Danny.
“Hey,” Danny said softly. “I’m gonna go ask Max to come out and give me a hand getting you up the steps, you just sit tight, okay?”
“No, I got it,” Jax muttered, fumbling with the door. “I just wanna get inside and lay down.”
“Okay,” Danny said, hurrying around the other side of the car to help him. It ended up being easier than he’d thought. Jax seemed energized by the thought that a bed was so close and only needed a little guidance to keep him from crashing into anything. Soon they were crowded around Jax’s door, Jax fumbling to get the keys out of his pocket.
“Here, let me,” Danny said, reaching into the interior coat pocket, which left him pressed against Jax for several seconds while he fished the keys out. Fortunately, Jax’s key looked just like his, only with a different colored tab, so it easy to find among the others on the ring. Soon Danny had Jax’s door open and Jax was staggering a path to his bed.
“I’ll be right back,” Danny called after him softly. “I’m going to grab the lavender oil.”
Danny wasn’t sure if it was a grunt or a groan that he received in response, but he took it as a sign of acknowledgement and hurried to his apartment and quickly retrieved the oil. Jax was trying to tug off his boots when Danny arrived, the light from the hall spilling into the bedroom, which looked way neater than Danny would have imagined, at least that he could see.
“Where do you keep your washcloths?”
“Bathroom cabinet,” Jax muttered. “Left side.”
“Okay.”
They were easy to find, neatly folded in shades of gray and green. Soft too, certainly not the bargain bin stuff from the big shopping chains. Danny wasn’t sure why it mattered to him, but it did, maybe because it meant that Jax actually took the time to care about the stuff around him. Sean hadn’t, but then, Sean hadn’t seemed to care about much of anything.
Danny got the water good and cold before soaking the cloth, then rung it out well and poured some of the oil on it before folding it up. Jax was sprawled on his back on the bed, one boot off, the other still on. It brought a small smile to Danny’s lips.
Quietly, he crossed the room to sit on the edge of the bed, lifting Jax’s arm from over his eyes and replacing it with the cloth.
“Ohhhh, fuckkkk that’s nice,” Jax groaned.
“Just relax, I’m going to get your boot off and then I’ll turn off the light in the hall so it can’t bother you anymore.”
“Thanks, Danny,” Jax muttered.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to thank me,” Danny said.
He made short work of the boot, then turned off the light before stepping back into Jax’s bedroom and closing the door behind him. He resumed his seat near the pillows, placing his fingertips lightly on the other man’s head and beginning to gently rub. From the sighs he soon heard coming from Jax, he could tell it was helping. Soon, Jax’s breathing evened out and Danny was left sitting in the dark, thinking about what it might be like to be here on a night when Jax was feeling better.
Jax groaned and shifted a little closer to the warm presence at his side. His headache had faded to a dull pressure at the back of his neck, way better than the explosive riot of pain he’d spent the day before experiencing.
Not waking up alone was a bonus. He hadn’t expected Danny to stick around, let alone rub his head until he’d passed out, but he had, and better still, he was still sprawled on the bed beside him. The lavender oil had been nice too, he was going to have to start keeping that around. Maybe after coffee, lots of coffee, Danny would tell him where he’d gotten it from.
For now, his bladder was insisting that he get up and relieve it, which sucked, because he really didn’t want to move. It had been a long time since he’d woken up beside anyone. Typically, he just fucked and headed home, unwilling to face the awkwardness of conversation, or worse, a walk of shame in the morning.
Damn.
Figured that the one time he’d be more than happy to just go back to sleep he needed to move. With a sigh he rolled out of bed and shuffled to the bathroom, took care of what he needed to, washed his hands and crawled back into bed, snaking one arm around Danny and hauling him closer. With a groan of contentment, Jax pressed his face to the back of Danny’s neck and cuddled, the scent of Danny’s shampoo reminding him of wildflowers.
When he woke next, sunlight streamed brightly into the room, nothing like the weak slivers of the early morning. He heard Danny swear, then shove at his arm, so reluctantly, Jax let go of him.
“Sorry for hogging half your bed,” Danny muttered before rushing off to the bathroom. Jax just rolled over and threw an arm over his eyes.
“The least you can do is let me make you breakfast,” Jax said when he heard Danny emerge. “Unless you’re late to work or something.”
“Nope, not late, I don’t have to be at the theater until three, but it’s past breakfast,” Danny pointed out.
Jax cracked one eye open and moved his hand, trying to make out the numbers of the clock halfway across the room. “Damn, brunch then?”
“Yeah, sure, but you know you’ve actually gotta move if you plan on cooking something, and you don’t look like you’re in an hurry to move anytime soon.”
“My head doesn’t hurt anymore and the bed was comfortable,” Jax muttered as he stretched. “Where do you get Lavender Oil anyway?”
“There’s a tea and herb shop on Hamilton, I’ll show you sometime if you’d like.”
“I’d like, very much so, between that and your magic fingers, it really cut the pain.”
“I’m glad I could help.”
“So am I, I was ready to just lay on the floor and die.”
“A bit dramatic, don’t you think?”
Jax snorted and glanced up at Danny. “Dude, for a few minutes there I was entertaining thoughts of grabbing a piercing needle and shoving it through my eye. I just wanted it to end.”
Danny cringed at that and made a face at Jax.
“Dramatic and drastic, but seriously, have you seen a doctor about the headaches?”
“Uggggg,” Jax stuck out his tongue, his nose wrinkling. “I hate doctors, but yeah, I’ve gone to a few. Gotten meds and shots a couple times, nothing really helps but a dark room and sleep though, which sucks, I hate letting my sister down.”
“I’m sure she’d rather you home and feeling better, than trying to pierce customers and deciding you’d rather just stab yourself instead.”
“True. But still.”
“I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it up to her.”
“Any you.”
“Thought you were making it up to me with brunch.”
“Naw, I’m saying ‘thank you’ with brunch,” Jax said with a grin as he slowly sat up. “I’ll make it up to you on our next date.”
“Oh yeah?” Danny said, a smile brightening his face.
Jax found himself wishing they’d progressed to the kissing phase of their relationship already, because he really wanted to kiss Danny again. Hell if it wasn’t for his grumbling stomach he’d have been more than happy to spend the rest of the afternoon sprawled on the bed, kissing Danny with the occasional cat nap in between.
Jax’s stomach growled again, loudly, prompting Jax to finally move.
“You like French toast?”
“Love it,” Danny said.
“Perfect, because it’s one of the few breakfast foods I know how to make.”
Laughing, the pair headed for the kitchen, Jax making them both a stack of French toast and even breaking out the whipped cream and blackberries to put on top of it.
“Whipped cream?” Danny asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I hate syrup, don’t have any in the house, so it’s whipped cream or nothing, sorry,” Jax said with a shrug.
“Nothing wrong with that,” Danny replied, just shocked is all to see you actually have something around that’s sticky and sweet.
“No worries, it’s fat free,” Jax said as he set the can on the table.
Danny just chuckled and sprayed some on his food, then watched as Jax did the same.
“So,” Jax said, after they’d dug in. “Do you have rehearsals today?”
“Yup.”
“Can I watch?”
^^^
Jax hadn’t been sure what to expect a rehearsal to be like, if he was being honest with himself, the words just sort of slipped out of his mouth, more because he hadn’t been in any real hurry to have his time with Danny end than anything else. Now that he was sitting front row center staring up at the stage he’d found he couldn’t tear his eyes away.
Danny had said the play was called Masks, but he’d never expected to see one of the lead characters actually up on the stage wearing a black and silver Lucha Libre style mask as he pleaded with a washed up former wrestler to train him. It was actually kind of cool and nothing like the old English language he’d expected to hear. There were no stuffy costumes either and or sword duels, this was easy to understand, relatable even. Didn’t they all wear a mask of one sort or another?
As Danny gave instructions to the people up on the stage, Jax found himself wondering what had inspired him to write the play in the first place. What was Danny’s mask, and would he like what lay beneath it, if Danny ever trusted him enough to strip it away? For that matter, what would Danny see if he ever looked deep enough at Jax to see all the things that he kept hidden?
Jax had never intended to care one way or the other. Remembering how they met still sent sparks of anger surging through him. How someone could accept treatment like that he still didn’t understand, never would and never would be able to accept that Danny had kept on going back for more. Did it mean that Danny believed he couldn’t do better or did it mean he just didn’t see himself as worth very much?
If that was the case, then how could he value anything or anyone else?
How could he fight for someone else if he wasn’t willing to fight for himself?
Jax knew he had his own demons. Demons that made it hard for him to give a shit some days, demons that made him lash out at the world around him, maybe not physically, but words could hurt too and the last thing he wanted was to be with someone who was going to let him get away with it. He needed to know that the person he was with would reign him in even when he was incapable of reigning himself in because some days….some days he just wanted to tell the whole world to kiss his ass in the most graphic way possible and unfortunately, the person who ended up on the receiving end of that little rant wasn’t always the person who deserved it.
Okay, so maybe he was as much afraid to move forward with Danny because of his own issues as he was because of Danny’s or maybe it was just that they were already moving forward, despite all the ways the voice in his head tried to protest.
He scrubbed a hand over his face, unable to tear his eyes off Danny on the stage, unable to stop wondering if together they wouldn’t be like a flame in a firework factory; wild, exciting explosions only to be over way too fast.
Thing was, Jax was really getting tired of relationships ending that way, but he was even more tired of random hookups. He wanted something meaningful, someone who didn’t mind if the only thing he wanted to do was lay on the couch all afternoon and read. Better would be someone who didn’t mind reading with him, or going for a long walk to see nothing, or watching old movies without complaining ‘cause shit wasn’t blowing up every thirty seconds. He wanted someone he could have an intelligent damned conversation with, who actually liked going to a museum or talking about astronomy and history.
He liked Danny and he wanted Danny to like him, wanted it to be uncomplicated but he didn’t see how it could be. So he watched as Danny came down off the stage and walked towards him, and while his brain was screaming at him to make an excuse and get out of there because really, thinking about Danny was starting to occupy way too much of his time, all that came out of his mouth was “Come for a walk with me?”
“I’d love to, let me grab my things,” Danny said and took off for the back, leaving Jax blinking and wondering when the hell he would learn to think before he spoke.
When they stepped outside Jax sighed, eyes scanning in all directions, trying to decide which way to go. He knew downtown was west so he headed that way, Danny at his side.
“What did you think of it?” Danny asked after they’d only gone half a block.
“I could understand Az’s fear, not wanting anyone to see him without his mask because of the burns. I could understand Maurice’s fear as well, he felt old and useless, like no one cared that he was still capable of teaching and still had so much left to share. I don’t know that it’s enough that they both needed one another, right time, right place is good and all, but is it really enough to build on?”
“How do you mean?”
“Az is one student, that isn’t enough to keep a gym open for. There’s no guarantees he’ll be any good either. Maurice can teach him only as much as Az is capable of learning. In the end, for all of their best intentions, they might still fail.”
“But they’ll have tried,” Danny explained. “And that’s really what the play is all about. Trying when you don’t even believe in yourself anymore. Trying because someone else needs you to.”
“Oh.”
Jax fell silent then, glad when Danny did too. They walked past pawn shops and record stores that still sold vinyl, classic rock music drifting through the crack in the door. They walked past the Asian market and a hair salon, listened to the whisper of country music drift from a corner bar before they crossed the street, hands brushing against each other they walked so close.
It was Danny who intertwined them, lacing his fingers with Jax’s, and it was Jax who froze, eyes wide as he looked from Danny’s face down to where their hands were joined.
“Sorry,” Danny muttered, face turning red as he started to let go.
Jax shook his head, startled, and closed his hand tightly around Danny’s fingers so he couldn’t get away. “No, I umm, this is okay.”
The smile on Danny’s face was worth all of the confusion Jax was feeling as they continued to walk towards the heart of the city. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d walked hand in hand with someone this way, not since…
He cut off that train of thought before it could even take root, cussed himself for ever having allowed it to raise its ugly head to begin with and focused back on the moment and the man he was with.
“Are you gonna write more?”
“Huh?” Dany asked, as if pulled from his own thought. Jax wondered if he was thinking about the past too, or just how good it felt to actually be connecting with someone.
“Az and Maurice, do they get more to their story?”
Danny shrugged. “I don’t know. I never thought they’d need it.”
“Guess I just found myself wanting more,” Jax said.
“That’s not a bad thing.”
“Sometimes it is.”
“And sometimes we just want what we want, we can’t help it, we’re human. We can’t always control the things we feel.”
“Isn’t it because we’re human that we’re supposed to have more control over ourselves?” Jax asked.
“Maybe,” Danny muttered, before pushing him against the wall.
Jax blinked, stunned, not because it had hurt, but because it was unexpected, as was the kiss that Danny suddenly laid on him. His body sagged, melting into it, kissing back but not trying to reverse their positions or take control. It was better to just feel Danny’s hands framing his face and Danny’s body pressing his against the stones, molded to his front in all the best places.
“And sometimes,” Danny muttered as he pulled back. “It’s just better to feel.”
“You’ve been staring off into space all night, spill it,” Steph demanded.
“It’s been dead in here all night, what else do you expect me to do?” Jax grumbled.
“Well, seeing as how you already cleaned and reorganized your station twice, I guess, anything is better than watching your OCD kick in.”
“I do not have OCD.”
“About some things, yeah Jax, you do,” she laughed as she crossed the room to the mini fridge. “But don’t worry, I love you anyway. Juice?”
“As long as it isn’t one of those pretend juices that are really only about 10% juice and 90% sugar.”
“See, obsessed,” she remarked, pulling out too. “And no, it isn’t, I made sure to get 100% juice this time so as to not upset your delicate sensibilities.”
“Thanks, sis,” he replied, accepting the bottle and drinking it down gratefully. When he was done, he rinsed the bottle and put it in their recycling contained before dropping back into his chair. Silence stretched between them for several minutes as she unwrapped the other half of her sandwich and finished it, then tidied up their little break area.
“You’re not that little fat boy anymore,” she said after sitting in the chair beside him.
“No shit.”
“What I meant is that you’re not eating your feelings anymore, you’ve grown out of that. You don’t need to count calories in everything you eat.”
“I wouldn’t say I’ve grown out of it,” Jax grumbled. “I just don’t waste my time on people who make me feel like shit or piss me off anymore.”
“I know, I’m just saying that it’s okay to relax a little, enjoy a dessert sometimes, or juice that isn’t one hundred percent juice.”
“Nothing wrong with being healthy, sis.”
“I’m not saying there is and I’m proud of you for all the weight you lost. You look amazing.”
“Thanks to all the hours in the gym and all the time I spent running.”
“I remember when you first started running around the block, you’d come in so red in the face, gasping and wheezing, that I was scared you were gonna have a heart attack or pass out.”
“It scared me too,” Jax admitted. “I think the thing that scared me most was that I hadn’t realized that I was too fat to be able to run anymore. I mean what kid doesn’t think they can run? I knew I’d gained a lot of weight, mom was always getting on my case about having to replace clothes before they’d gotten worn out, but it didn’t dawn on me that I wouldn’t be able to run.”
“And look how far you’ve come.”
“I know and I never wanna go back to that. Do you know how hard it was to get all that weight off?”
“I know it took years.” She replied. “I know there were times when you’d get upset and you’d start binge eating again and then you’d get mad at yourself and start starving yourself and spend all of your free time working out again and that scared me too because that wasn’t any healthier than going on a binge.”
“Yeah, I know and I don’t do that anymore. I make sure I eat, I’m just smart about it and when I get upset about shit I hit the gym or go hiking.”
“My point exactly,” she said, as she reached over and took one of his hands. “You’ve learned what triggers you and you’ve learned what to do to avoid falling into bad habits, so why don’t you let yourself enjoy things when you want them.”
“Who says I want them?”
“I do, especially when I find a fingerprint in my lemon meringue pie, you could have just taken a small slice you know.”
“I just wanted a taste.”
“So cut a small slice and enjoy a taste, it isn’t that big of a deal, you don’t have to hide it if you want something sweet.”
He ducked his head.
“Yeah, I know.”
“But you’re still ashamed about it.”
“I just remember raiding mom’s fridge or sneaking down to the kitchen to get into the leftovers and snacks in the middle of the night.”
“Well, you’re an adult now, you don’t have to sneak food, or hide when you eat something.”
“I’m working on it, okay, along with some other stuff.”
“You okay?”
He shook his head, and Steph inched closer and brushed her brother’s hair back, got him to look up at her, and even give her a sad little smile.
“What’s wrong?” she asked gently.
“Danny kissed me the other night and ever since, I’ve been avoiding the hell outta him.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to want…” Jax made a gesture with his hands, as words failed him.
“What, him?” You don’t want to want him? Why not, he seems like a great guy.”
“He is, he’s awesome, and it’s not so much that I don’t wanna want him, I’d love to have him in my bed, I just, I don’t want the rest of it, and we live too close to each other for anything casual to really work.”
Steph took a deep breath and blew it out slowly.
“Maybe it’s time you try actually connecting with someone again. It’s obvious you like him and it was pretty clear to me the other night that he was worried about you. He also doesn’t strike me as the type to cheat on someone, unlike Jason. I know you were really in to him, but he was an asshole and he didn’t deserve you.”
“If you listen to him tell it, I was the one who didn’t deserve him,” Jax grumbled bitterly. “Besides, no one wants a fat boyfriend.”
“You weren’t fat,” She said firmly. “You weren’t cut like you are now and yeah, you still had some extra weight on you but you weren’t fat and no one deserves to be cheated on.”
“I know that.”
“Then act like it!” she snapped. “Instead of putting yourself down and trying to justify that you somehow deserved it because you weren’t in perfect physical shape. He cheated because he was an asshole who didn’t have a loyal bone in his body, period, end of story. You can’t let it stop you from ever trying to have another relationship.”
“I just think a relationship complicates things,” Jax said.
“And I just I think it’s time you let shit go,” she said firmly. “If that’s a problem for you right now, then maybe you need to talk to someone again because clearly, you are not handling the past very well.”
“I…”
“Do not tell me you’re handling things just fine,” she snapped, cutting him off. “Moving here was supposed to be a new start for you. How’s that going to work if you keep hanging on to every little issue. Newsflash, Jax, mom has moved on with her life, she doesn’t let assholes and bullies take advantage of her anymore or hurt her. I’ve moved on with my life, despite losing the man I’ve loved, I’ve managed to turn our dream into something real. Callum and Max are moving on with their lives, despite all the crap they went through with Kurt and the lawsuit, but you, you just insist on hanging on to everything that has ever hurt you and using it as an excuse to not even bother to TRY! You have so much potential, little brother, and you’re wasting it. You’re wasting a chance to be happy and that is a shame.”
“Sis…”
“No, don’t sis me right now, I’m so disappointed in you I can’t even speak. Just, go home, and hide from Danny some more, Jax, since that seems to be the only thing you’re willing to work at.”
Clamping his jaw just, Jax grabbed his jacket and stalked out the door, the bells jangling angrily behind him.
Danny sat at his table, sorting through the pile of mail he’d let pile up over the course of a very busy week. Bills went into one pile, rejection letters in another, he cursed when he opened yet another thin envelop telling him they his play wasn’t right for the lineup they had planned for the upcoming year. He tossed it with the others and sighed. He’d known when he wrote Masks that it was a little bit different but he’d never imagined that it would be this hard to find playhouses who’d be willing to perform it.
The junk mail pile grew as well. He was getting damn tired of the same insurance company sending a brochure every month, and what up with cigarette companies, he didn’t smoke but was forever getting coupons. The only coupons he truly appreciated were the ones for cat food with as much as his kitties ate.
Lyric mewed and jumped up on the table, landing in the pile of rejection letters which slid, spilling paper and cat onto the floor. With a sniff and a flick of her tail she stalked off to go sit on the back of the couch and lick her paws while shooting him dirty looks. Like it was his fault she’d picked a crappy place to land.
The knock on the door couldn’t have come at a better time. He held the last letter in his hands, the return address reading Atticus Playhouse and it didn’t feel any thicker than any of the others had so he was in no big rush to open it and see that his play had been passed over again.
He looked through the peephole as he’d taken to doing ever since he’d kicked Sean out, shocked to see Jax standing on the other side, shuffling from one foot to the other. Quickly undoing the locks, Danny pulled the door open and looked up at his neighbor.
“Hey,” Jax said, continuing his restless shuffle.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Danny asked, feeling a little nervous as he watched Jax’s eyes dart around the hall. “Do you want to come in?”
Jax sighed heavily and shook his head. “No thanks, just wanted to say I was sorry. I saw the sticky notes you left on my door, I just, I’m sorry I didn’t respond.”
“No problem, I figured you were busy at the shop and stuff, it’s no big deal. I had free time and thought you might want to hang out if you didn’t have anything else to do.”
That just seemed to make Jax shuffle more.
“I um, didn’t have anything going on, I just didn’t want to hang out is all.”
“Oh.”
“Like I said, I’m sorry. It was really cool of you to come down to the shop and pick me up the other night, you didn’t have to do that. You deserve better than me ignoring you.”
“Yeah,” Danny said. “I do, and I deserve better than an apology too. I deserve to know why you’ve been ignoring me, did I do something wrong. If it was about the way I kissed you in the alley, I’m not sorry. I’d wanted to do that since you kissed me in the hall. If you’re worried that I’m looking for something intensely serious between us, don’t be. I just got out of a shitty relationship I went into way too fast. I’m not about to make the same mistake again.”
“Yeah, I-I wasn’t trying to assume anything.”
“Weren’t you? Isn’t that exactly why you ignored me? Look, you made it pretty clear you had relationship issues and so did I. Figured as long as we were being honest with one another, we could see where things might go. But I’m not in the mood for another person who wants to play games so thanks for the apology, I think it’s best if we go back to just being neighbors.”
Jax pressed his hand against the door as Danny went to close it. “I, that wasn’t my intention.”
“No, but it is mine. Can you get your hand off my door please?”
“Can I just say something first, please?” Jax asked.
Danny debated, but in the end, decided he wanted to hear what Jax had to say, if only to confirm his decision that getting involved with him wasn’t going to work out.
“Fine.” Danny said at last. “Go ahead.”
Jax bit his lower lip, looking everywhere but at Danny.
“I like you,” he finally blurted out.
“You have a very bad way of showing it.”
“I know, that’s part of what I was sorry for,” Jax said. “I like you, but I didn’t want to like you.”
“Isn’t that nice. Thanks, that’s just what I needed to hear.”
“No, I, dammit, Danny, it’s complicated.”
“Uh-huh, well do me a favor and uncomplicated it or get out of my doorway.”
Jax’s shuffling turned to pacing until Danny stepped out into the hall right in front of him to bring his motion to a halt.
“Look, spit it out or go, I’m not in the mood for bullshit, okay.”
“I’m trying.”
Danny just snorted and shook his head. “Try harder.”
“I have some major issues, okay?” Jax began. “Trust issues, self-esteem issues, food issues, just, issues. I’m not good relationship material right now. I really enjoyed going out with you. I like spending time together. I like you. I don’t wanna mess that up.”
Danny stepped back, studding him for a bit. Jax looked sad, and tired. He believed him when he said that he had issues, some of which Danny had already caught a glimpse of. It was a plus that Jax was being upfront right now, even if it seemed like he was holding a lot back.
“I like you, too,” Danny admitted. “I’m not happy about being ignored and that you felt you couldn’t be honest and upfront with me when I left the notes, or even before that, but I would like us to be friends.”
“So would I, and if it turns into more later…”
“No, see that’s where you start getting confusing again. You say you’re not ready for a relationship but you’re already talking about being open to one, which means you’ve thought about us having one but some issue or fear is getting in the way. You kissed me first, then you kissed me back, what that tells me is you’re fine with the physical stuff, you just don’t want… what, to be tied down to one person? Sorry, I don’t do casual sex.”
“That’s… not what I’m after. I mean, I would be, if you were into it, but…”
“Yeah, okay, time to go.”
“Danny…”
“No!” Danny snapped, cutting him off. “Enough for the night. come back when you figure out exactly what you want from me, or don’t, I don’t have time for this shit.”
And with that Danny stalked back inside and closed the door with a firm click, reengaging the locks and throwing himself on the couch only to be pounced on by the kitties. Hugging them, he ranted about men until they scattered and found somewhere else to sit. Leaving Danny staring at the ceiling and grumbling into the night.
^^^
Ice cream. It had always been his favorite comfort food, which was exactly why he never allowed himself to have any at all these days. Or maybe he should say he hadn’t allowed himself any until three days ago, when he’d stalked out of his apartment building to go for a walk and had ended up stopping at a convenience store and buying an ice cream sandwich.
Steph would have told him it was perfectly fine, and maybe it would have been, it he hadn’t stopped a few blocks later and bought another one. All in all he ate four of them that night, then starved himself the following day in an attempt to make up for it. He’d gone to the gym too, guzzling water and working out until he’d gotten dizzy and had to stop, and even that hadn’t felt like enough to make up for it.
Work had been a disappointment. Steph wasn’t talking to him and the only piercings he’d done were a nose ring, a pair of tits, a couple eyebrows, and a poorly thought out Prince Albert. Jax still couldn’t believe how that had come about. When the couple had come in, only the woman was supposed to be getting a piercing, two of them, actually, matching little hoops in her nipples, the kind he did all the time. She’d sat like a pro and been thrilled with them when he was done. Unfortunately, she’d also insisted on taking pictures of her new piercings and posting them on the internet, a fact that set her boyfriend off. The two started an argument right in the middle of the shop, with the guy finally declaring that if she could get her tits pierced and show them off all over town, then he was gonna get his junk pierced and do the same.
Needless to say, that hadn’t exactly well and the guy had left with an ice pack on a very sensitive area, cussing up a storm. The first thing Jax had done after closing time was head to the corner store and buy a pint of ice cream, digging into it as soon as he got home and finishing it off before bothering with dinner.
He was doing the same thing now, spoon posed over a half empty container of black cherry, his thoughts racing a thousand miles a minute as he stuffed his face.
When his cell phone rung he nearly dropped the spoon it startled him so bad. Glancing around, he tried to remember where he’d put his phone but it seemed almost too much effort to bother. The ringtone wasn’t Steph’s, and if Max or Callum wanted him then they knew how to walk up the steps. Besides, it wasn’t their ringtone either, so he scooped up another spoon full of ice cream and shoved it in his mouth. At this rate, he’d have to get up early and spend the whole day at the gym to make up for this, or maybe he wouldn’t even bother, what difference did it make, he’d likely just grab another pint on the way home anyway.
Brooding, he finished the pint and threw himself face down on the couch, growling when the phone rang again. Same ringtone, wasn’t that the default? He couldn’t remember so he lay there and closed his eyes, ignoring it again.
Three more times it rang, three more times he ignored it. At one point he even chucked the phone across the room, he was so annoyed with it. He flipped the channels on the television restlessly, stopping on a hunted places show and dropped the remote on the floor beneath his head.
This move hadn’t gone the way he’d planned. Des Moines was interesting enough, but he wasn’t sure working with Steph was going to pan out, especially if she couldn’t stay out of his business. The last thing he needed was her giving him shit, or worse, the silent treatment, every time he fucked up another relationship. Hadn’t she figured out by now that the chance of him actually managing to make something work, with anyone, was pretty slim?
Jace sighed, grabbed a pillow and pulled it up over his head. It muffled the show but he didn’t really give a shit at the moment, his head was starting to ache, so before it could turn into a full blown headache he hurried to his room and swallowed a couple painkillers, then flopped back on the couch again.
Unwittingly, his thoughts went back to Danny and the lavender oil and how good it had felt to have him massaging his temples. No one besides Steph had ever taken care of him that way. A part of him longed for that again, but the other part was scared to accept it. What good would it do him to get attached to someone when people didn’t stick around. Even if they didn’t screw around on you, there were the arguments you couldn’t bounce back from, or they got transferred or disinterested, or died.
That fucking ring tone again.
Fucking hell
Rolling from the couch Jax stalked across the room and retrieved his phone, flipping it open with an angry flick of his thumb and all but snarling into the phone.
“Who the fuck is this!”
“Jax,” the horrified voice on the other end gasped, and Jax just slapped his free hand to his forehead and groaned. “Is that any way to greet your mother.”
“Sorry,” Jax grunted. “Didn’t know it was you.”
“Well, that probably isn’t the best way to answer the phone, regardless.”
“Mom, I’m pretty sure you didn’t call to lecture me about the way I answer the phone.”
“No, I called because I’m going to be coming to Des Moines on the 5th and wanted to get together with you and Stephanie for dinner.”
Jax pulled the phone away from his ear and scowled at it.
“Jax, did you hear what I said?”
“Yeah, um sorry, just trying to figure out what you’re coming all this way for.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to see Stephanie’s new shop and where you’re living?”
“I don’t know, maybe because you’ve never come before.”
“If you’ll recall, I asked you if I could come visit and you told me you were too busy each and every time.”
“Yeah, and I was, I still am, Mom, what is this really about?”
“I’m getting married.”
“WHAT!”
“Please don’t yell Jax, I know you heard exactly what I said. I’m getting married. He’s a nice man, in fact, I’ve known him for longer than you’ve been alieve. We’ve been friends a long time and it finally blossomed into something more. We wanted to sit down with you both and celebrate.”
“Oh, fuck, mom you’re not marrying Mr. Russ are you?”
“I should have married him a long time ago, to tell the truth, I don’t understand why I never saw what was right in front of my face, Russ is a wonderful man, you know he is, Jax how many times did he step in to help out around the house while you were growing up?”
Jax’s brain tuned out her words, all he could do was stand there listening to the endless chatter, wishing he’d never answered the phone in the first place. Finally, after what felt like forever, she paused, and Jax cautiously focused, hoping she didn’t expect him to say too much.
“I would like it very much if you would be there,” his mother said.
“Sorry mom, I can’t.”
“I don’t understand why you have to be so difficult, Jax, I know I didn’t always get things right when you were growing up, but was I really so horrible to you that you can’t even spare one evening to have dinner with me?”
“If it was just dinner, maybe, but I’m not celebrating another marriage that’s just gonna end in less than a year,” Jax scoffed, wanting nothing more than to hurry up and get her off the phone. “How you actually convinced Steph that you’d changed is beyond me. You’ll never change.”
He heard her gasp of outrage and rolled his eyes.
“Look mom, I’ve gotta go.”
“Yes, I’d better get going myself, I’m sorry to have bothered you, believe me, it won’t happen again,” she said before handing up.
Jax closed his phone, then pitched it across the room, switched off the TV and grabbed his keys. Fucking hell, it never ended, it was always the same old shit, always the same crap from her time and time again. I’m getting married, meet the new stepdad. Fuming, he stalked to the corner store and picked up another pint of black cherry. This time he didn’t even wait until he’d gotten home to dig in, he snagged a plastic spoon and started shoveling it in on the walk back home.
^^^
Smiling, Danny stood on the stage, looking out into the empty auditorium. He lived for moments like this, when rehearsals were going smoothly and his words were actually starting to come alive. The only hiccup they were experiencing was that that Herman’s cousin had backed on helping with prop and set designs. Finding someone at such short notice was proving to be a disaster, which meant Danny was going to have to do something he really didn’t want to do but for the sake of the show, he’d swallow his pride and do it.
He just hoped that after the way everything had disintegrated between them, Jax would say yes.
Footsteps on the stage alerted him to the presence of another, and he turned his head to see Herman striding towards him with a grim look on his face.
“That’s it, we’re sunk, we’re gonna have to postpone. My Uncle Dean was the last hope, and wouldn’t you know it, he’s in the Dominican Republic with my Aunt Irene and won’t be back until sometime next month.”
“Isn’t he the one who hates the snow?”
“Yeah, pretty much,” Herman grumbled.
“Then chances are he won’t be back next month either.”
Herman shook his head, the despondent look on his face making Danny feel bad for blowing up at him earlier. It wasn’t his fault that his cousin Thatcher had canceled on them in order to make way more than they could afford to pay him. Just went to show that giving ones word and a handshake didn’t go as far as it used to. Maybe in the future he should look to take a few carpentry and welding classes when the continuing ed program offered them. At least then he could build his own sets, or at the very least, help work on a crew that was building them.
“Do you want me to call the theater director in the morning or would you prefer to do it?” Herman asked. “I don’t mind doing it, and telling her it’s all my fault, maybe she’ll be willing to find us a slot without making us have to wait another year.”
“No, I’ll take care of it.”
“Danny, let me, I was the one who suggested we use Thatcher.”
Clasping a hand on Herman’s shoulder, Danny gave him a reassuring smile. Or at least, he hoped he was being reassuring, the truth was, he was scared Jax would tell him to go to hell and slam the door in his face this time and he wasn’t sure if he’d deserve it, or if he’d have reason to be pissed after everything that had passed between them.
“There’s a chance, a slim chance we won’t have to cancel,’ Danny told him. “But I won’t know until I go home tonight and talk to Jax. When I talked to him before about maybe helping with props he seemed open to the idea, I’m hoping if I explain how much of a bind we’re in, he’ll agree to help out at the same rate we offered Thatcher.”
“You think he will, after, well, you know?”
Danny shrugged. “One can only hope.”
“Shit Danny, I’m so sorry you have to do this.”
“It’s not your fault, stop blaming yourself. Shit happens, I shouldn’t have freaked out so bad on you earlier.”
“I don’t even care about that right now. I know you had no intention of ever talking to him again, and now, ‘cause of me and Thatcher, you have to, and I just, I’m really sorry.”
“Quit apologizing, before I ask you to sing your apology in front of our entire karaoke group, and you know I will.”
“Ohh fuck, seriously, not that, anything but that, please, Danny, you evil bastard, that fuckin’ sucked when Simon made me do it.”
“Well then, listen when I tell you that its fine. I’ll talk to him tonight, and if he says no, well, then I’ll call the director and tell her what happened and deal with the consequences. All you tried to do was help, so stop beating yourself over it.”
Herman nodded and hugged him tight, nearly squeezing the air out of Danny who patted his back a bit awkwardly as he struggled to breathe.
“Okay, okay,” Danny gasped, flailing a little until Herman stepped away.
“That’s Danny, you’re the best,” Herman said as Danny drew in a lungful of air and sputtered a bit.
“Well if that’s what I get for being the best, then I’ll work harder in the future not to be,” he muttered as he backed away. “I’d better go, I think I need to mix up a drink or three before he gets off work, I have a feeling I’m gonna need them to deal with him.”
^^^
Jax trudged up the steps having a hard time putting one foot in front of the other, he was so tired and shaky after finishing up at the shop. Steph had noticed too, and it had sucked being peppered with a stream of questions ranging from how well he was sleeping to if he’d been getting enough to eat. After the binge with the ice cream he’d been careful to limit himself to two small meals a day and extra workouts, but he wasn’t sure it had erased the damage done. Standing in the mirror in the morning when he’d gotten dressed, he’d looked at himself from all angles. His jeans were still fitting right, even hanging a bit low on his hips the way he liked them. He’d stroked a hand over the ridges of his abs, poking them a bit, wondering if it was a bit of flab beginning to show.
Anger had raged inside of him, because he’d worked so hard only to fuck it up so badly. For a moment he’d contemplated smashing the window, but the last thing he needed was more bad luck in his life. For a moment, he’d simply stood there, staring at his reflection, disgusted with himself, before finally pulling a t-shirt on. Hiding himself from view always felt better on days like this, though it always felt like a shame to cover up all of that beautiful ink. Those pieces would have been better on someone else, someone who wasn’t disgustingly undisciplined.
He was so busy wallowing in dark thoughts and misery that he didn’t notice Danny’s door was open until the other man’s voice stopped him cold.
“Hey Jax, you got a minute?”
He lifted his head, wondering what Danny could possibly want after the way their last conversation ended. “Yeah, um, sure,” Jax said as he climbed the final step and crossed the hallway to lean against the wall.
“Do you mind coming in?”
It was impossible not to let the shock show on his face at Danny’s suggestion, but he nodded, and stepped past him into the well-lit apartment. The cats where there to greet him, winding around his feet, so adorable that Jax couldn’t help but kneel down and scratch beneath their chins and rub their fuzzy heads. Lyric arched and purred, making Jax smile a bit as the big cat put her paws on his shoulder and rubbed faces with him.
“Well hello to you too,” he said, rubbing the fluffy furball even more.
Mrrrumph, Lyric replied, headbutting his hand.
Jax laughed, gave her one final skirtch beneath the chin, and stood to find Danny watching him, an unreadable look on his face.
Jax squirmed, a little uncomfortable at the way Danny was watching him. “What’s up?”
“Would you like some coffee or tea or anything?”
“Umm water, please.”
“Sure,” Danny said, heading for the kitchen. “Grab a seat.”
Looking around, Jax decided on one of the wooden chairs at the dining room table and dropped into it, catching sight of a bottle of whiskey on the counter as he did. He could have gone for some of that at the moment, if Danny was offering, might have cut down a little on the nerves he was feeling.
When Danny sat the ice water on a coaster in front of him, he drank it gratefully, glad to have something to do with his hands as Danny settled into the chair across from him.
“After the last conversation we had, I know I have no right to ask this, but I need a favor and you’re the only one I know who might be able to help us out with this,” Danny began.
Jax exhaled, finding himself instantly more at ease at hearing Danny’s words. A favor he could handle, he’d been worried Danny wanted to talk about their messed up attempt at friendship. Settling more comfortable in his chair, Jax had a brief moment to wonder about the prickle of disappointment he suddenly felt, before Danny started talking again.
“Herman’s cousin Thatcher was supposed to build the sets for the play, but he bailed on us, kind of last minute to take a better paying job, and I was wondering if you would have the time and be willing to finish the sets for us.”
Jax tapped his fingers together, letting Danny’s words sink in. Helping with the sets would mean seeing Danny every day and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. It would be harder to keep just how much he liked Danny to himself if he had to constantly interact with him, but on the other hand, he’d really enjoyed hearing the script performed. The play had spoken to him and it would be kind of cool to have a hand in making it happen. If only….
Jax raised his head to meet Danny’s eyes, then dropped it, because Danny’s gaze was just too intense.
“What’s your backup plan?” he asked at last.
“You are the backup plan,” Danny admitted and Jax could hear the weariness in his voice. “If you can’t do it, then we’ll have to cancel the show and hope we can get a time slot for some time next year.”
“Damn.”
Danny sighed. “Yeah, pretty much. Like I said, I’m sorry to have to ask you. I know you’re busy with work and all…”
“Only in the evenings,” Jax blurted. “Most days I just spend my time at the gym.”
“Oh.”
“I’ve got all the tools we’d need, do you have plans or drawings or something to show me what the sets are supposed to look like?”
“Wh-what?”
“Plans, did you have anything drawn up?”
“Yeah, does that mean you’ll do it?”
Jax raised his head and once again met Danny’s eyes. “Yeah, actually. I don’t want you to have to cancel your play. I liked what I heard at the rehearsals, I’d kind of love the chance to see it live.”
Jax watched as Danny’s eyes went wide, relief washing some of the stress lines away from his face. The rest fled when he smiled and Jax felt a special kind of pleasure at having put that smile there. Maybe he’d fucked up any shot at friendship, but perhaps he could make it up to Danny, just a little, by hoping with the play this way.
“Holy…Jax thank you. Thank you so much, I-I don’t even know what to say right now, I, just thank you for agreeing to do this. This play means so much to me and if the critics come and they like it, then some favorable reviews can really help me get some of my other plays in theaters around the city and maybe in Missouri too and who knows, maybe it could go further, and…listen to me, ranting on and on and we haven’t even performed opening night yet.”
Jax couldn’t help but laugh at that, and Danny’s passion and energy.
“That’s pretty awesome, how into your work you are.”
“This is the only thing I’ve ever really wanted to do. I love writing plays. I hope I can connect to the audience with them. That they’ll take something away from what they saw that makes them want to talk about it with friends, encourage them to come see the play too.”
“That’s cool. It really is. If you’ve got a copy of the plans here I’d love to take a look at them.”
Danny nodded, shoved his chair back and hurried to his bag, returning to the table with a folder market set designs. This time, when he sat it wasn’t across the table from Jax, but in the chair closest to him, laying out the plans on the table in front of him.
“This is the biggest piece,” Danny explained, pointing to a corner section that jutted out from a wall. “It has to look like a wrestling ring.”
Jax nodded, studying it. It looked simple enough to construct, as a stationary prop. He checked the dimensions, and the notes beneath explaining that a few scenes would actually be taking place in it. That was good to know.
“What’s this?” Jax asked, pointing a piece of the plans that had a big X through them.
“Oh, we had to scrap that,” Danny said, reaching for the paper.
“Why?”
“No one knew how to make it work out.”
“What was it?”
There was a scene in the play where Az is trying to kill a mouse, but you can’t use a real mouse on the stage and the movements in cat toys don’t last long enough. You pull the string and it goes a little and dies. We tried battery operated ones but they zip across the floor too fast to be realistic.
Jax cocked his head to the side, studying it.
“So what happened to the scene?”
“We left it in, it’s a key scene, we just decided to pretend there was something there and hope the audience will suspend disbelief for a moment.”
“Or we can take the guts out of a stuffed mouse and replace them with the inside of a remote controlled car, and have someone off to the side control the mouse for the scene.”
Danny’s jaw dropped, his eyes blinked and Danny watched as he glanced from the paper, back to Jax, then back to the paper again.
“Holy shit that could work. Can you, do you know how to do that?”
“Yeah. I loved remote control cars growing up, we were always fiddling with them, building them and motorizing shit to scare people with. I can put it together, no problem.”
“Thank you. Damn. I, this is way more than I expected.” Danny admitted.
Jax just shrugged. “I should be thanking you. You’re giving me a chance to fiddle with that stuff again.”
“Why’d you stop?”
Shrugging again, Jax rested his head on his hand.
“I dunno, guess I figured I’d outgrown it or something.”
Danny laughed a little, and Jax picked at the sleeve of his shirt as he tried to figure out why.
“I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you,” Danny said, waving his hand in the air between them. “It’s just, it sucks that as we get older we start to feel as if we have to give up on the things we love. Why? I don’t get it, even though I’ve come to realize I’ve let a lot of things go for the same reasons.”
“Yeah, like what?”
“I used to love roleplaying games and all night gaming sessions. You name it and Herman and I used to play.”
“No shit?” Jax chuckled. “I’ve played a few times, but Callum and Max play a lot, they’ve got tons of games. You should go down and talk to them sometime if you’re still interested in playing. I’m sure they’d be happy to have you join in and Herman too if he wants.”
For the second time tonight, Danny’s smile made Jax feel good about having put it there.
“You know what, when this play is over, I’m going to do just that. Thank you.”
“No problem.” Jax stifled a yawn and stood, unsteadily. “Well, if I’m gonna be building sets for you in the morning, then I’d better get a good night’s sleep.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you at the theater at ten.”
“That’ll work,” Jax said and turned, intending to head for the door when the whole room spun and spots sort of danced in front of his eyes. He swayed and grabbed hold of the table, shocked when he felt Danny’s hands on his arm and back.
“Are you okay?”
Jax shook his head to clear it, then took a deep breath and let it out slow, steadying himself and easing away from Danny.
“Yeah, um, fine, just more tired than I thought, sorry,” Jax said as he headed for the door, willing himself to walk a straight line to his apartment.
He fumbled with the door for a moment and once inside, thought to head to the kitchen and grab some food. He knew he should, but the moment he was alone that nagging voice returned, reminding him he still had all of that ice cream to make up for. In the end, he just went to bed.
^^^
It felt good to work with power tools again, or maybe it was just the feeling he had working on something made him feel good about himself. Creating the set for Danny was one part atonement for being an ass, but the rest was just how cool it would be to see the play come to life with all the bells and whistles.
Measuring out the last piece for the ring frame, he cut it and carried it over to the rest of the pieces, then set about assembling the base and building up the sides and the small set of steps in the back that would allow the actors to step inside without having to navigate the ropes. Was a good thing he knew a little about wrestling and what it was supposed to look like. When Danny had suggested painting the base blue, Jax had balked, explaining it was supposed to be fabric.
Little had he known that would send him on an excursion to a fabric store to find something that would work. Hours spent wandering the racks and rolls of material had finally yielded something that would mimic the right color and consistency, and as he spread it over the base, he was feeling pretty pleased about the way it was all turning out.
“Holy shit that’s nice.”
Jax jerked his head up to see a guy in a mask watching him. Phillip, he thought Danny had said the man’s name was. He was playing Az, that Jax knew for sure, and would be one of the actors performing inside the ring. Jax watched as the guy fiddled with the mask before finally peeling it away from his face.
“Damn that thing is hot, it’s gonna be a bitch when all the lights are shining on the stage.”
“I bet,” Jax replied conversationally, wondering what in the world the guy wanted.
“Seriously though, awesome job on the ring, it looks really real,” Phillip said. “I wasn’t sure at first what Danny had in mind when he was trying to explain all the scenes to us. I’ve never watched wrestling, I thought about watching a match or two when I got the part, but work and rehearsals and shit, I just never really got around to it.”
“I’ve watched it a few times, enough to figure out what I’m doing anyway,” Jax admitted.
“Cool. I just wanted to come back and see it, get a better feel for what I was in for, ya know,” Phillip said. “I’d better get back out there, but thanks for stepping in and helping.”
“No problem.”
Jax watched as Phillip wandered back out towards the front of the stage, then he turned his attention back to his work. Turned out Phillip wasn’t the only one grateful for his help, several times over the course of the day members of Danny’s crew wandered to the back and introduced themselves, admired the ring and made casual conversation with him. It was odd, but not at all unpleasant to feel like he was a part of their team.
The way he saw it, this was the easy part. No way could he ever see himself doing what they did, standing out on the stage for people to stare at and securitize. He was pretty sure he’d puke before he ever stepped foot on the stage. He had to admire the courage it took to do what they did, which just made him even more pleased to have a small part in making it happen.
Doubling his efforts and his focused, he finished using the staple gun to get the floor covering in place, then moved on to constructing the ring posts. 4 x 6’s had to be shaped into posts, then wrapped in paper mache to make them thicker. Those would have to harden for the next two days before he could spray several coats of black over them until they looked like shiny metal. Best to get started at them next, to make sure they were ready for Friday. The ring ropes would be hose material painted blue and red, since they would best mimic the thickness.
Bending to his task, he quickly lost track of time, so much so that when Danny tapped him on the shoulder after he’d turned off the machine, that he jumped and looked around.
“Hey,” Jax said when he saw Danny standing there.
“Hey, yourself, it’s getting late. I know you have to be at work in a couple hours, I thought you might want to grab something to eat before you had to go.”
“Naw, I’m good,” Jax said. “I want to get these wrapped in paper mache before I leave for the day, so they’ll be ready to paint on Friday.”
“You don’t have to rush, you know, we’ve got a little over a week before dress rehearsals, and with all the progress you’ve already made, I don’t have a doubt everything will be ready.”
“Thanks.”
“So, join us for dinner?”
“Thanks, but I’m not really hungry.”
Danny shuffled from foot to foot, frowning.
“What’s up?” Jax asked, looking around at the pieces he’d already completed. “Did I fuck something up?”
“No, not at all, everything is awesome, I don’t know how you found the old posters for the gym walls but between them and the office set you finished yesterday, everything looks amazing. I can’t believe what you’ve been able to do in just a week.”
“The set designs were pretty simple, it helped that you had the supplies and everything already here, it really saved me some time.”
“I’m glad. I know it was kind of last minute, you helping out, so at least we had most everything you needed.”
“Yeah, and folks helping paint really made things come together quicker too,” Jax said.
“That’s what a production is all about,” Danny replied, a small smile crossing his face. “It’s not a division of actors and tech crew, it’s everyone trying to work together to make a performance happen.”
“That’s cool. What you guys do here is pretty awesome. Never would have imagined so much went into it.”
“What we do here.”
“Huh?”
“You said, ‘you guys,’ but you forgot to include yourself,” Danny pointed out.
“Some screws and bolts aren’t the same as what goes on out there.”
“Don’t do that.”
Jax frowned and studied Danny, confused by the sudden look of fury on his face. “Do what?”
“Undervalue what you’ve done to help.” Danny snapped. “And don’t think none of us have noticed the way you never seem to take a break, not for a snack, not for lunch, you just guzzle water and that protein stuff you carry with you.”
“I grab something on my way to work.”
“Okay, then come on, let’s go grab something,” Danny insisted.
“Why are you making such a big deal of this?”
“Someone has to,” Danny said. “I’m worried about you. I know it’s none of my business, but I um, I think you’ve got an eating disorder.”
Jax blinked, stunned at the words that kind of sat in the silence between them. He wanted to lash out at Danny, tell him to fuck off and storm out of there, but he couldn’t desert the show and he couldn’t deny the truth in what Danny was saying.
“I’ve had one for a long time. I manage,” Jax grumbled defensively.
“Have you um, ever talked to someone about it, like, a professional, someone who might be able to help?”
“Yeah, just haven’t needed to in a while.”
“I kinda think you do. I don’t mean to be pushy or anything but, it’s getting hard to miss.”
Jax crossed his arms and glared at the ground, “Yeah, well, I’d rather it to being a fatass.”
“Huh?”
“Look, I used to be really fuckin’ fat okay. I used to overeat and sometimes I pig out on stupid shit, like ice cream and pizza and other crap, so, sometimes I skip a few meals after I do that shit, to kinda balance it out.”
“Not sure it’s the healthiest way to balance it out.”
“Yeah well, it isn’t your body, so, it shouldn’t matter to you.” Jax grumbled, checked his watch and set about unplugging things. “I’d better go, don’t wanna be late to the shop.”
Before Danny could get in another word Jax hurried away, the sudden sting of the cold air on his face as he stepped outside a harsh reminder of the tears that were flowing down his cheeks.
^^^